Friday, May 29, 2009

From Dave to O.A.R....

I have definitely been in a concert rut. I don't know why, I don't know when it will break, but until then, I am all about watching as much live music from the comfort of my own home as is humanly possible. So, in case any of you are feeling the same way, here are some of my favorite songs by some of my favorite people, O.A.R., performing at MSG:

Heard The World:

Dareh Meyod:

Love And Memories:

Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King

I love Dave Matthews, and I love the Dave Matthews Band. Love, like, wholeheartedly. But, let's stay focused here. First of all, here is a video with behind the scenes interview clips, with perhaps the greatest Dave quote ever: "If you don't like this record, then you don't like music."

His new album can only be amazing, with a title like Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King. Because it has to be. And Fuse is airing this intimate concert, a live 2.5 hour television even, on 6/1/09 at 9pm (This Monday night.) It's also airing on Hulu for anyone who lives in the 18th century and doesn't have a TV, but that won't be commercial free, and I'm pretty sure with so many people trying to watch, it won't be a good stream. It will be pretty damn cool to be able to have the whole country watching the same show under all of our roofs, because nobody is more American than the South African Dave Matthews.

And Jersey Mike, who really dislikes Dave Matthews (but likes his songs, talent, and performances), because white frat boys love the band is an idiot. He is a singer/musician. If you like his music and his voice, then you don't really dislike the Dave Matthews Band. And I'm sure white frat boys like a lot of your music, so get over it.


The mush of my life.

Quote of the Day

Me: “You and Danny used to have contests to see who could eat more.”

Jordan: “Contests doesn’t mean I like it lol. It’s a man’s duty to compete.”

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Triptrop NYC

"Give us an address and we'll show you how long it takes to get everywhere else in the city."

For those of you in "the city" using public transportation, this map could be the coolest thing invented since MetroCards.

Drinking Out Of Cups

Purely silly. Who wouldn't love this? Except for people who don't like cursing. If that's you, don't watch.

Seahorses, forevah.


Meet the creature that yanked on my heart strings. These were taken in March at a pet store (GASP!!) with my father and his wife. They've been wanting a dog for as long as I can remember, and I am the first person to push for someone to bring a dog into their life. And until I met this dog, there were a thousand and one reasons to talk these two out of becoming dog owners. Goldfish owners? Nah, still probably not.

Reasons they shouldn't get a dog at this point in their lives:

-Neither their city or Hamptons home is puppy proof.
-My dad doesn't go for daily walks, and he loves sleeping in more than the average bear.
-They have white suede furniture.
-They have white, fuzzy rugs.
-She is insanely allergic to dogs' saliva.
-My father hated Mojo because he jumped and yelped when he could see me through a glass door and couldn't get to me. And also, because he pranced around ALL THE TIME. But when they bonded, I thought Mojo was on amazing behavior because he didn't bark, have any accidents, destroy anything, and he slept silently through the night.
-And let's not overlook that when discussing his potential purchase with me, he mentioned that if the dog thing didn't work out, he would simply hand the dog over to me.

1. They can be noisy. Though it's true they don't bark, they can growl, whine, scream and yodel. And when I say scream, I mean SCREAM!!
2. They can be destructive. Basenjis get bored very easily. If you do not give them something to do, they will FIND something to do. It usually involves ruining something you value, but irresistible to them. They will eat almost anything: paper, Kleenex, toilet tissue, q-tips, plastic, wood, carpet, kids toys, etc. They must be crated when not supervised, for their own safety, as well as that of your belongings. It is true, they are worse as puppies, and most will get better with age. However, some don't, and the time it takes to 'get better' and the degree of 'getting better' varies a lot. Some turn into perfect angels, some are always troublemakers.
3. They are hard to train. For thousands of years, the basenji has had to be an independent thinker to survive. Therefore, they do not see the need to obey humans. Positive training methods must be used and even then, they usually only obey if it doesn't interfere with what they want. I have found that you must trick the basenji into thinking that what you want, is what he wants.
4. They are destructive.
5. They are escape artists. Because they are hunters, and have such a high prey instinct, basenjis must not be trusted off lead unless in a well fenced area. I have found the best to be a 6 ft wooden privacy fence, with the cross boards on the side away from the basenji. Chain link fences are often merely ladders to where they want to go. The radio controlled fences (dog wears a collar that 'zaps' them when they cross) do not work. To a basenji, the zap is only a mild inconvenience when chasing a squirrel or rabbit. They are very fast and very strong for their size. It has been said that the main cause of death in younger basenjis is being hit by a car. Basenji owners must be very careful when opening doors. Many basenjis have escaped in this way, and unfortunately, been killed by traffic.
6. They are a high energy breed. A basenji may appear calm and aloof. But if he does not get enough exercise, he begins to release his energy in ways we humans do not approve of, mainly destroying things. If you do not have a fenced yard, plan on taking lots of walks. Every day. Basenjis can be happy in the city, in apartments, or condos, but only with owners who understand they will have to devote a lot of time and energy keeping their basenji happy.
7. They need human companionship. They can not just be left out in the yard, fed, watered, but not part of the family. They must be included in your life, as they consider themselves one of the family. They require a lot of time and attention, acting like 2 year old children much of the time. If you work long hours, think long and hard if you will be able to furnish the companionship a basenji needs.
8. Did I mention they can be destructive? They chew a lot. Though many basenjis, as they get older, become less destructive, some do not change.
9. They have an almost uncontrollable 'chase' instinct.
10. They are stubborn. If you are a control freak and demand complete obedience, do not get this breed. They will not back down, and you can end up with a confused, aggressive animal.
Reasons to get this one specific dog:

-She has the most beautiful coloring on a Basenji that I have ever seen in my life.

*She isn't available anymore. So I hope that her new family lives on a huge property with other Basenji's where she can exercise and chase and chew freely all day long. And I hope they don't feel too racked with guilt for supporting cruelty to animals and over-population of dogs by supporting a pet store.

Quote of the Day

Julia: “Well, I can't say much… When I was a senior in high school, I dragged my friends to see the Lizzie McGuire movie.”

Aaron:“How can such a hateful person love all this teenage bubbly crap?"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A Kiss From Tokyo

Since a movie trailer for a book has never been done, I think Kevin Dart deserves a round of applause! Kevin Dart, author of “A Kiss from Tokyo,” has cleverly opened the door to a whole new way of finding out about, and experiencing, his novels. The animated trailer for his new book is creating tons of buzz and exciting readers by providing a visual precursor to his writing style.

See the whole video HERE.

Tweeting To A Job?

The title is misleading, as she didn't only Tweet, but she also created a Facebook Group, paid for media ads, created and sent in a video resume, and started her own website. But either way, very cool for those of you looking for some virtual inspiration!

Only In New Jersey

"A Westville man who reportedly couldn’t pay his bar tab wound up being charged with using his own feces to draw on the walls and set fire to a bathroom in the police station."
New Jersey has been getting a lot of bad press lately! 

Bravo TV started a new season of "The Real Housewives" and the women chosen to represent my state are spoiled bitches or slutty washed up hags, or I should say, they appear to be. Haha. Like the one woman who gets "skeeved" at the idea of moving into a house someone else lived in so her husband has to build her one. And the $120,000 she spent on furniture and decorations in one shopping trip.... For her master bedroom only! Or the woman who looks like her teenage daughter and can't stand up to her to get her to do homework or not invite a group of friends over to her little brother's birthday party. I don't know what was more upsetting: Knowing that she was ruining her daughter, or the fact that she allowed a relatively new "friend" in her life to get in the middle of her trying to talk with her daughter. And the new friend: a promiscuous woman who is raising two girls on her own, and teaching them that the only way to make money is to date money. If you are so desperate for cash, why don't you sell the mansion, move into a town home (Gasp!) and look for work while you have some cushioning? And I've only seen 1.5 episodes!

The E!TV created a show called "Jersey Shore Unleashed." After it's first episode, it disappeared. Let's hope it's because it was cancelled fairly, and not because the mafia had children on the show portrayed honestly and brain dead and they illegally put the show on hiatus. I watched it. I wished I hadn't. The fact that people that insipid are anywhere is terrifying enough, without having to worry about bumping in to them next week while I'm on vacation.

And finally, a show my friend was glued to when I went to her house: DEA on Spike. In a nutshell, it follows a crew of DEA agents (Drug Enforcement Administration) in New Jersey, follow leads, make arrests and drug busts, and explain stake-outs. It was definitely the best of all of these shows, but there is something about hearing "Bergen County," and seeing what the show is, in my "backyard," that makes the show awful. Wouldn't this show be better in South Central, L.A.? Or on the streets of Detroit? (On the website, it actually does list Detroit as a location of the show, but I haven't seen it yet.) Poor N.J.!

Save Walter White

Chances are, you haven't been watching Breaking Bad. And chances are, you would definitely be enjoying it. A terminally ill high school science teacher accidentally gets his wife pregnant, while they are raising a 16 year old boy with a terrible disease, their house is falling apart, and they are in financial distress before the cost of cancer treatments get added into the mix. And that's not the interesting part! It gets good when you add into the mix manufacturing and selling crystal meth, having a brother in law in charge of drug control in the area, miraculous recoveries and idiot partners. It really gives the curious chemist a lot to chew over...

Here is a link to save Walter White, the aforementioned chemist, in a site created by the show's producers and being passed off as his television son's doing:


It's ALL about perspective.

Quote of the Day

Alex: "What, are we being bombed by the Japanese or the Germans or something?"

Julia- "Too soon."

Alex: "Look at Little Miss 1945 over here."

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jon And Kate 4 Eva!

I have this weird personality trait, I am wondering now if it's common in other people.... But basically, if I see a show from its very first episode, I feel almost as if it belongs to me. For instance, when Beverly Hills 90210 started, I watched it, through awkward character introductions and never ending story lines, I was hooked. A few-ish-to-maybe-five (?) years ago, I saw an hour long documentary video on TLC of this chubby brunette woman, her Asian-American husband, their twin girls, and sextuplets. Not only did their unimaginable life situation intrigue me, but their marriage did. 

I watched Kate transform into a tan and skinny blond, and Jon gain weight, lose hair, then gain hair and lose weight while their show was picked up, created and seen by almost everyone I know. I saw their babies turn into toddlers turn into little people, through awkward baldness and speech impediments and screaming fits, and now they are amazing. And while the reason I watched may have been "I had to since I saw them from the beginning," the reason I love it is because they have a supportive marriage that I thought wasn't possible. She would scream, and he would ignore the negatives. He would forget something huge, and she would shrug it off. I feel like in certain instances, it's easy to call Kate unsupportive or easily angered, but those naysayers are morons.

How many women do you know that could raise 8 children, two older girls and the rest all one competitive age together, while being conscious of their every activity, their every meal and snack and life lesson? And I thought that Jon knew that his poor wife was in a constant state of overwhelmed so he overlooked her snipping every so often as part of the deal. Because I will be honest, if I was in her situation, I would be a screaming, neurotic tree-dweller who spent all of her money on baby sitters and pre-made meals and cleaning crews and Advil. I loved how confident this husband and wife were in the power of their marriage, and in forgiveness, and how they treated each other as most people can only treat themselves.

And last night, during this season's premier of Jon And Kate Plus Eight, my fairy tale came crashing down. Now, it hasn't burned yet, although that could still be coming, but they were definitely more apart then together. Not forgiving or understanding, but just calm and resigned. I HATE CALM AND RESIGNED. Everyone can be calm and resigned. I haven't been this upset as a dissolving of a marriage since Jen and Brad split up. I wonder if home wrecking Angelina had her claws in this situation, too. After all, we are talking about a lot of small partially Asian kids...


These were taken at an actual castle in Tarrytown Sunday evening, The Castle On The Hudson. Let's focus on the positives: I recognized this castle as the castle I went to for my stepmother's surprise bridal shower. It was beautiful. There was oxygen in the air so that one could logistically breath in and out at whatever rate one chooses. Let's not focus on the negatives: That we were at the wrong castle in Tarrytown for the wedding we were running late for, because my mother decided to ask the ever-busy groom for handwritten directions while he was saying goodbye to everyone during his rehearsal dinner instead of following the professionally typed directions that everyone was sent in their invitations while she screamed at me for stopping and asking directions after she screamed at me for not stopping and asking directions while my car was in motion and the passersby were clearly tourists snapping pictures in front of town signs and wearing big neon flashing hats with "I AM A TOURIST AND WILL IN NO WAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU NAVIGATE YOUR WAY AROUND THIS FOREIGN TOWN." It was great, I'm sorry you missed it.

Quote of the Day

Cashier: "Ugh, I have to let you have it."

Now, for the context: I went to Pathmark this morning, and on an end-cap, I saw some low sugar maple and brown sugar oatmeal for sale, at $2.19. Deal. It rings up as $4.99. No deal. So I tell the cashier, who literally moseys over to the end cap fifteen feet away, and she comes back to me, says "Ugh, I have to let you have it," removes it from the total, and then sticks the box in my shopping bag without ringing it up as anything. It was like a gift that really pained her, and confused the hell out of me...

Friday, May 22, 2009

Inglourious Basterds

No, eye did knot furget how too spelle.

This is a trailer for the new Quentin Tarantino flick, “Inglourious Basterds.” To be honest, I’m speechless. Tarantino joining forces with Pitt, what more could a girl ask for?

"Henry Kissinger and his family escaped the Nazis. He fled with his family to New York and a few years later found himself back in Germany as a private in the US Army. As a GI in charge of interrogations he infamously urged his fellow Jewish soldiers not to torture Nazis, as to do so would be 'doing what they did.'"

This WWII Nazi flick is set to premiere in August. Check it out on Chunnel.

New York Sh*tty

This Brooklyn-heavy five borough blog is sure to bring chuckles. Maybe not from out-of-towners though. They might just sigh and think that their local and clean city is less sh*tty. That's why I don't like out-of-towners.


My brother, Jordan "The Rock Wannabe" L. Because nothing screams fake wrestling federation like Halloween colors, an empty Brita, and some background flowers. Trust me, I did the research.

Quote of the Day

Alex: “If you remove the godmother part, you are left with fairy.”

Aly: "Good to hear you finally say it."

Thursday, May 21, 2009

It's Important To Clean Your Fridge

SAN JOSE, Calif. – An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill. Firefighters had to evacuate the AT&T building in downtown San Jose on Tuesday, after the flagrant fumes prompted someone to call 911. A hazmat team was called in.
**The Rest At The Link**

Now I can feel less like Dwight Schrute and more like a hypochondriac when begging coworkers to remove their science experiments from shared spaces.

Only The Brave

"It's becoming apparent that Deisel is really the undisputed king of viral advertising, they've had some stiff competition from the likes of Cadbury and Nike, Burger King made some good attempts, but Deisel really kills it every time they put something out.

It's almost hard to believe that anyone is making advertisements that I would want to save to my computer for future viewing, but it's happening. This piece which apparently was produced to promote a new cologne is really quite amazing." -Chunnel

Rockin' Out

As my brother says... This kid's got some serious swagger!

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

Last night was finally the season finale of American Idol, finally a winner would be picked, finally I could go back to reading the book I put on hold in January when this damned season started! I have to hand it to the producers, though, as last night's show was by far the most entertaining Idol I have ever seen! I didn't even fast forward. (That just doesn't happen.) I felt like I was at a show, and I'm no usually so gullible.

The evening started off with a reunited Top 13 singing not so well. The one chick who looks like Gabrielle Union should go into modeling, and silent films, and hiding.... But then David Cook was there to ease my ringing ears. He lost his brother to cancer this week, and his performance was made available on ITunes with all proceeds going to ABCsquared, raising money for cancer. I applaud his strength to be able to be on stage- and showing people up- in the midst of this tragedy.

There was a new portion to the show: The Golden Idol Awards. All together, they were as follows:
  • Outstanding Male: Nick Mitchell, aka Norman Gentle
  • Best attitude: Katrina Darrell, aka Bikini Girl (She was terrible, beyond bad, and then Kara DioGuardi came out, showed her up vocally, and then at the end of the song, ripped her dress open to reveal her amazing bikini body. So really, all Kara should be jealous of is a tan, and that costs $8- I think she can cover that.) See that HERE!
  • Outstanding Female: Tatiana Del Toro
Lil Rounds teamed up with Queen Latifah for a good rendition of "Cue The Rain." The only real question I have is: "WHY, oh, WHY is Queen Latifah wearing THAT?!?"

Alexis Grace and Anoop Desai sang with Jason Mraz solo for a bit, and then the Top 13 rushed the stage and everyone sang together. But with Jason Mraz holding his notes, the group sounded miraculously better.

Kris Allen was put with Keith Urban to sing "Kiss A Superstar," and I just don't think that is fair, when you consider who Adam got to duet with. But in case anyone is a Keith fan, you should know that he got completely outdone by Kris, and nobody watching or listening can argue that.

All of the girls in the Top 13 got to duet with Fergie, which turned into an awesome Black Eyed Peas performance. Yes, I have the oldest Black Eyed Peas album in my car and I listen to it every morning before work. Problem?

Allison Iraheta got to perform an intimate version of "Time After Time" with Cindi Lauper. Who doesn't love that song? They sounded awesome together, and even though it was slow, and ten seconds of that song is repeated over and over and over and over again, I couldn't bring myself to skip ahead.

Danny Gokey got to sing with Lionel Richie, who can still hold his own, and they sounded very professional together. I literally catch myself grinning when Danny Gokey is singing. It's mortifying. I need to see someone about that...

Adam Lambert got to duet with.... KISS! How does that even come close to comparing to Keith Urban? Hahaha. He out sang each member of KISS. And did anyone else think that Gene Simmons looked like a bigger fool than usual? I mean, he was sticking his tongue out like he had electro-shock therapy and something in his brain kept reminding him to open his mouth awkwardly wide and to stick his tongue out. We get it, you have a long tongue, and that your schtick is to stick it out on stage, but come on, close your mouth sometimes. Embarrassing.

Matt Giraud gave a mediocre performance alongside Santana, before the whole group came out on stage to help out. 

The most interesting twist of the night was "Pretty Flowers," written and co-performed by Steve Martin, with Megan Joy and Michael Sarver singing as Steve played a sitar(?). The song was good, but it was even better to see a comedic genius prove himself to be an all around entertaining genius.

The guys of the Top 13 performed an introduction piece to Rod Stewart who apparently wanted nobody singing at the same time as him. Little does he know that he sounds like an exasperated old man and could have used some back-up support. He looked so old, and his wig looked so new. 

Towards the end, Adam and Kris sing together, performing "We Are The Champions," as Queen, or what's left of them, joins them for a touching song. And after a record breaking almost 100 million votes were cast, the shock of the year: Adam Lambert Loses!

The only thing that sucks for Kris Allen right now is that "No Boundaries" has to be his first single. Hopefully, he can have a say in the rest of his album... And all is right and fair in the world, for an hour or so.


A little yellow goes a long way....

Quote of the Day

Melissa: “You’re pretty loco.”

Me: “Thanks, Mel! You are pretty and loco also!”

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Puppies Behind Bars

The wonderful and talented Ms. Glenn Close was on Oprah last week, and I have to say this, she isn't at all the evil and conniving wench she is always type cast as. Really. And if she is, she came up with the best cover ever: Supporting puppies!

In an effort to both rehabilitate war veterans and American prisoners, "Puppies Behind Bars" was created, having prisoners train working dogs from puppy to adult. Once these dogs are trained to properly assist people suffering from PTSD and other ailments, Iraqi War Veterans receive these dogs as lifelong partners, bringing these war vets back from mental lapses, debilitating nightmares, and everything else that comes with brain-related wounds. 

For interested dog owners to help, there is now a DogTags Chewy available for purchase at The plastic chew toy is an imprint of a soldiers footprint. "With every Chewy Shoe purchase, $2 will be contributed to the DogTags program to train more 'service dogs for soldiers who've served us.'"

I fully support this program, and will be getting some DogTags for friends. Marley, however, will not be supporting this cause. As plastic toys serve her as merely an appetizer to a night spent in the dog emergency room.

Everyday Normal Guy

**Warning- this video is both hilarious and incredibly crude. Watch at your own risk.**

American Idol Recap- Season 8

As Season 8 comes to a close, I find that I will be greatly missing Simon and Ryan squabbles, and Ryan Seacrest one-liners. Such as: "The Guy Next Door vs. The Guyliner." I kid. Although it was a pretty accurate line, I somehow don't see Kris Allen as being my neighbor, I will definitely be keeping my eyes completely wide open. Last night's episode featured the two singers dueling to out against each other with 3 songs each. The first song was a song pick by the performer of their favorite song already sang throughout the season. The second song was chosen by the show's creator, Simon Fuller, with the third song being a first single for the winner, co-written by Kara Diaguardi. 

I'm just going to run through Adam Lambert's songs of the night. His pick: "Mad World." I was pretty stoked, as this would have been the one I chose for him, but I thought that he sang it a lot better the first time he performed it. Either way, the notes he reaches are effortlessly inhuman and he deserves to be up on stage for the rest of his life. Simon Fuller's vote: "A Change Is Gonna Come." My first thought was definitely that Simon Fuller hated Adam, because why would you give him a bluesy song? But then as the song progressed as the scale got larger, it all made sense. Again, he was able to make a song his own, blow it out of the water, and not break a sweat. And the single: "No Boundaries," was his final performance. He sang the song well, a little shrill, but the song itself was terrible. Why does such an incredible show have to always end with such a bad, bad song?

Kris Allen's songs of the night: First up,  "Ain't No Sunshine," he played on the piano, and inside of every girl's heart. He out sang his previous "Ain't No Sunshine" performance by three miles, and it made me forget about the fact that I missed Mr. Danny Gokey. Thankfully, the camera man kept panning on him in the audience, so the would was able to be ripped open again and again. Thanks. Simon Fuller's pick for Kris was "What's Going On." I thought he was able to modernize it, make it his own, make it a song that I would turn up at full volume in my car and scream along with. But I can see Simon's comment being on target, as well, as it wasn't a big robust memorable performance, and on the last night to win people's hearts, that's not the best tactic. Kris's rendition of "No Boundaries" was better that Adam's, as I agree with the judges and it fit his voice a little better. But you can put make-up on a pig, it still rolls in crap all day.

All in all, there is no clear winner, and tonight will be a nail biting event. For me. 

The only good thing about "No Boundaries" is that it is an exact rip-off of a really excellent CD by the same title. This compilation album was created for the Kosovar refugees, released back in 1999, when the Kosovar refugees were the most terrifying things on our radar. Playlist:

1. Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
2. Baba [Live] - Alanis Morissette
3. The Ghost Of Tom Joad - Rage Against The Machine
4. War of Man [Live] - Neil Young
5. Freak on a Leash [Freakin' B Mix] - Korn
6. Psycho Man [Danny Saber Remix] - Black Sabbath
7. Come Down - Bush
8. Leather Jacket - Ben Folds Five
9. Take Me Away - Oasis
10. Mary - Sarah McLachlan 
11. Go - Indigo Girls
12. Used To Be Lucky - The Wallflowers
13. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Jamiroquai
14. Merman - Tori Amos
15. Black Paintings - Peter Gabriel
16. Soldier of Love (Lay Down Your Arms) - Pearl Jam


New York Gritty. 
I love how the poster lined bottom wall acts as a bottom frame to the shot, and the matching patched up gray building are side frames. I love how every picture I take in Manhattan feels like art.

Quote of the Day

While checking out some "new" Robert Downey, Jr. pictures a while back...

Aaron: "He actually looks surprisingly lucid and sophisticated... and charming."

Julia: "It might be the drugs. Ew, stop admiring him!

Aaron: "I kid. I kid."

Julia: "Man-crush it up on your own time, son!"

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dead? Or Alive....

It's better than a quiz where you have to wait for answers to upload, and even more importantly, you don't need to cheat with my personal lover, Google... Why? Because the answers are underneath each photo! And I would have had to do a LOT of cheating!!

3 Things Marketers Can Learn From Swine Flu

"Absolutely Nothing."

1. If you incite panic, people will do things needlessly and without thinking. It’s been proven that those little surgical masks don’t do anything. But when the media shows people with those things on their faces walking around in public, it makes others go out and get them, too. The equivalent? Those marketers that are approaching companies and saying, “Holy crap! You’re not on Twitter? Facebook? You’re not blogging?!? What the hell? Your company is gonna die!!” And then said company rushes into these new technologies without a plan - just because everyone else is doing it.

2. Information spreads rapidly. So does misinformation. We’ve heard from some people (you know who you are) that they are telling their friends and family not to get on trains or airplanes because it’s an enclosed space and therefore your chances of getting H1N1 go up. That’s BS and total misinformation, but it’s spread like wildfire because it has a lot of the elements of WOM (one of which is people want to feel like they are doing a service to others by warning them of dangers). The equivalent? Bad word of mouth about your company spreads fast - usually a lot faster than the good stuff. But who is out there spreading the good information for you? Because I’m here to tell you that if you try and do it yourself - nobody’s gonna believe you.

3. People will believe anything - for a while. Especially in this day and age. They will also talk about you for a little bit when you pull a “look at me” stunt. I’m not saying that the Swine Flu is a stunt, but as soon as all the hype dies down it will be but a memory. The equivalent? The next buzz event. The next viral video. The next Skittles stunt or P&G’s Tide drive. All distant memories.
*Courtesy of

My only question: Who doesn't already know this? A single man thinks, a group of men follows. Every time.


This is Tristan. In Marley and Mojo's crate. He's trying to convince Marley to like it a lot more than she apparently does right here. I actually couldn't get him out of here. He kept bringing in pillows and throw blankets.... Basically, if your child wants a fort, and you want to keep a mess contained, get a large dog crate and call it a day.

Quote of the Day

Julia: “Brian's like, 'How come you’re not going? Some friend you are.' And I’m like, ‘Please, I’m not anyone’s friend.’”

Monday, May 18, 2009

Woman's Abs Saves Her Life

A woman about to take off on a paraglider was affected by a gust of wind, lifted and flipped her over, and then dragged her across the rough ground. And "all" she was afflicted with was a torn liver and pancreas. Phew! And the doctors thanked her strong abs for protecting her insides further. And I know I may be crazy.... but doesn't it seem logical that if she was in much worse shape, a gust of wind couldn't have knocked her over, flipped her upside down, and dragged her across rough terrain? Food for thought. Fast food.


"Why on Earth would you wake me up right now? Do you have any idea how EXHAUSTED I AM?!?!"

Quote of the Day

Maureen: "Tristan, do you sometimes forget your thoughts in the middle of talking?"

Tristan: "Yes. Yes, I do."

Friday, May 15, 2009

My Heart Is Burning

I think the first time I had heartburn, I was about twelve years old. That's normal, right? Indigestion due to the stress of a long work day and forty five years or abusing my stomach lining. Oh, wait. Not at all. And when my mother finally deciphered my vague and confused and whining description of what was running through my esophagus, she handed me my first box of Tums. Oh, sweet and chalky savior. I loved the instant relief, and has her warning not come soon after, I might have been a strung out Ambien junkie screaming at a sixteen year old pharmacy technician at this very moment. As I was chewing my way into burn-free bliss, my mother taught me about kidney stones. And what causes them? Calcium deposits. And what are the precious Tums she handed to me? Calcium chews. And how much do kidney stones hurt? As much as passing a large child through your pee hole. Really? TRUST me.

And that was when the never-ending battle of my stomach lining and my upper throat began. Long story short: my esophagus is a push over and my throat is a loser. 

And why am I sharing this? Well, I thought through my impressive powers of deduction and obvious medical degree through the always reliable and wikipedia, I had narrowed down the source of my ailments: Processed wheat products. It makes sense. A plain bagel: agony!! Dry crackers? I'd rather jump! This week, damn chickens have clucked holes into my theory by either filling their eggs with processed wheat, or just proving that my excess acid has not been figured out yet. I always knew I was deep and mysterious...

Nike Introduces New Intercourse Shoe

This is all from The Onion. And you know what that means: Truth.

"Nike is proud to continue its commitment to new and innovative products with the first ever sneaker developed exclusively for sex," president and CEO Mark Parker said. "Stylishly sculpted and contoured for enhanced comfort, the featherlight Air Fornicator provides superior energy return to reduce fatigue and boost the libido."


One. Two. Three. I need a shutter-speed camera.
West Side Highway-ing.

Quote of the Day

Brian: “I practiced in my head last night.”

Me: “You did? How did it go?”

Brian: “I was flawless.”

Thursday, May 14, 2009

BrotherSisters Still Run Music Video

The Australian band BrotherSister’s creativity runs wild in their new music video! You can’t tell if you’re watching the world end, an adidas commerical, or one of those really cool slow-mo animal documentaries… but, one thing’s for sure though - you’re running!

I love it. Getting high mid-day through someone else's eyes....

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

Last night's episode was the last episode before the season finale, in what feels like a ten month American Idol season. The dynamic trio was made a duo and a loser, and my heart goes out to Danny Gokey. I know he will have an incredible career, if he wants it, but he is just so damned likable that it killed me to see him get rejected. The finale will be a face-off with Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. Now, everyone knows for sure Adam is walking out a winner next week.

Other show highlights:
  • Alicia Keys announces that she is a global ambassador for Keep A Child Alive. I love that! Then, she announces that a young boy from Rwanda was taking the stage to perform. I love that! Then, little Noah took the stage. Terrible. First off, he was dressed like Kanye West, literally, and he bounced around like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch exclaiming his love for Katie Holmes. Even with ten full time back up singers, it was a hugely unpleasant auditory experience. Come on, Alicia, you couldn't find a more talented child to highlight?
  • Jordin Sparx performed her Battlefield song, and she looked incredible! She reminded me a little bit of Eva Mendes. The song might grow on me, but her voice is so great already!
  • Katy Perry performed "Waking Up In Vegas." Her voice is intriguing and unique and I am seriously considering a trip to ITunes now.


These sundaes were ordered at Archetypus in Edgewater, NJ. They were consumed, well, nowhere. How can you mess up a strawberry shortcake sundae? Or a s'mores sundae? Neither Julia or myself were impressed or satisfied, but if you want a cool location and an empty waller, totally go there!

Quote of the Day

Reason why you shouldn't take diet tips from an 80 year old man:

Grandma: “Candy isn't food, Alton?”

Grandpa: “No, you suck on it and it’s a liquid.”

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dave Matthews Band Live and Free!

Just wanted to let everyone, specifically fellow Dave Matthews lovers, know that on June 1st, every fan across the US can experience a DMB concert together, LIVE on TV!

Fuse TV (, an all music network, just announced a very special, LIVE BROADCAST of Dave Matthews Band's upcoming, sold-out show at the legendary Beacon Theatre in Manhattan.

This commercial-free, 2 1/2 hour broadcast will be a once in a lifetime experience for all DMB fans, as it will capture the band performing their upcoming studio album, Big Whiskey and the Groogux King, in its entirety for the first time ever!!

Fans (and me!) will get a sneak peek of new material from the band, the night before the official album release!

Additionally, the band will be performing some of their older fan favorites from their nearly two decade-spanning career!

So be sure to tune into Fuse TV on June 1st at 9P/8C to witness this legendary band's very first LIVE televised concert in over a decade. Since it's commercial free, I can even watch it in real time! :)

For more information about DMB Live from the Beacon Theatre, click here:

*To find Fuse TV in your area, click here:

A Little Dancing Bird Action

Am I jealous that bird has better moves than I do? A little bit, yes.

American Idol Recap- Season 8

On American Idol last night, each of the three remaining contestants had to perform two songs: One picked by a judge, and one they could pick for themselves. 

Danny Gokey started the night off with Paula Abdul's song choice, "Dance Little Sister." And while I want to commend Paula for picking something that suited the unique quality of his voice so well, I also wanted to scream that Americans were voting on the outcome, and he most certainly got the short end of the stick on a popularity vote. The song was a little too disco-y, and we all know how well Disco is received! I just wanted to mention also that Kara is a bitch, complaining about his dancing. He was clearly feeling the music, it did not detract from his singing. So shut it, temp.

His second song, picked by himself, was "You Are So Beautiful," His vocals were just emotionally driven and really, well, beautiful. Kara called it stunning, but her kind words were like salt in the open wound she created earlier in the show. Simon, whose opinion is of any interest to me, said "I would call that a vocal masterclass." And so I learned a new word.

The evening's second performer was Kris Allen, and Randy and Kara got to pick his song out. I guess the producer's don't think of her as her own person, either. They picked "Apologize" by One Republic, doing the exact opposite of what Paula did: Going for the easy vote. He did the song justice, although it was pointed out that he left it a little too similar to the original. And for song numero dos: "Heartless" by Kanye West. Wow. Wow. He made that song what it never was from the original, but should have been. He just stood on the stage, playing his acoustic guitar and breaking down the verses, and I thought he was astoundingly good. Again, a very voter-conscious choice, so nobody can ever accuse him of under-thinking the competition.

And everyone's favorite: Mr. Adam Lambert. Simon picked his first song, "One" by U2. Let me first say, he changed it just enough, put his spin on it, and his talent is ridiculous. But did anyone else find it a little bit shrill? In the best possible way, it reminded me of some hysterical wife trying to remind her husband to keep his you know what you know where while heis out at some crazy bachelor party. I loved Simon's quote, "It may sound a little biased, but I thought that was a brilliant song choice."

Adam's second song of the night was Aerosmith's "Cryin." What a fantastic song choice! It is exactly the type of song he could really flourish in, while mixing in some emotional ballads, I hope. In the beginning of the song, there were some female backups singing at the same time as Adam, and I thought that was an annoying mistake, but other than that, a flawless performance.

Going in to the night, I was confident that the finale would be a Gokey/Lambert face-off. Now, I'm not so sure. Kris is also incredibly talented and deserving, and I think for the first time, I would be happy with any of the three walking away with the title, because let's face it, they will all walk away with record deals. And I will walk to a store and buy each of their albums.


What color is your core today?

Quote Of The Day

Me: "I just cant win, can I?"

Alex: "I'm really pretty good at making sure people don't win."

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Homeless Real World

THIS was one bizarre link... At first, before I opened the link, I thought it was a joke. Then, I read the article, and it sounded revolutionary and poignant and needed today.
That said, the defining-moments that led to the cast members’ circumstances are revealed during the course of the show. So too are the special skills needed to survive life on the street, which in Denver during winter sometimes means sleeping in three feet of snow. The footage depicts such rawness that Metzger calls it “actuality” TV.
The approach that the producers took to shooting the series is unlike anything on TV. The producers bonded closely with the subjects, at times breaking the fourth wall in the footage. Interviews are more conversation than Q&A and feature nothing like the typical “confessionals” adopted by so many reality shows.
“The cast and crew became so close that they’re still very much in touch with each other,” Ayoub says. “So we can tell you what everyone is doing today.
Since filming wrapped, three cast members entered detox programs, one got off the streets entirely and one passed away, Ayoub says. One cast member told him that in sobriety, they tell you to look back on your last drunken stupor as a reminder of where you never want to be again. “My last drunken stupor is on video tape, and I will always be able to look at it,” the cast member said.
Then, I watched the video. And let me tell you, my hopes deteriorated quickly. It started out "okay," but then unravelled. Is this real? (No pun intended.) The depictions seemed dramatized by someone with an IQ of 3. So disappointing! It's no wonder this show on the homeless can't find a home channel.


Meet Vlad. Protector of one bedroom apartments and forgoer of sleep and comfort to lay by front door and bark at dangerous passersby quietly going to their own one bedroom apartments. Phew!

Quote Of The Day

After discussing how Julia and I dislike all types of monkeys…

Carrie: “I’d like to go somewhere where I can pet all of those animals.”

Julia: “I think they have that. I think it’s called a Petting Zoo.”

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother Lover

If anyone missed this weekend's Saturday Night Live, my condolences. Justin Timberlake steps so effortlessly into role of SNL alum that if he hadn't continuously had skits reminding the world of who he is and why he is famous, I would have had to remind myself that he was a guest on the show and that he probably wouldn't be on next week. Lorne should really step up his game and get this man on full time! 

In "honor" of Mother's Day, Justin and Andy made a digital short music video about getting their mother's "gifts." Hilarious.


A little shot of purple haze.

Quote Of The Day

Jordan: "I could be a dj. I've got potential, let me tell you. I could be a cop. you're quoting that?! You've got problems. I could help you though, 'cuz I'm in that field."

Friday, May 8, 2009

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

Watching American Idol's elimination show this week felt a lot like being in Vegas at some circus of performers who are so not complimentary to each other that you'd swear you dropped acid thirty minutes before taking your seats. Of course, all of my knowledge stems from having seen Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas a few too million times.

Let's get the elimination out of the way, much like the complete opposite of what Ryan Seacrest is paid to do: Allison was sent home. I think it's pretty sad that the only rock chick is getting sent home during Rock Week. I think she kicked ass, I think she kicks ass, I will buy her album, as long as it doesn't ****ass, and I'm pretty excited for the Gokey, Allen, Lambert playoffs.

Now, onto the performances.... First, the entire foursome group performed with Slash. I thought everyone held their own except Miss Allison Iraheta. She was weak. Speaking of weak: The next performer was none other than Paula Abdul. Here's my problem: fifty year olds cannot be 19 year old Britney Spears. It doesn't work, it shouldn't work, it didn't work. She can move for a fifty year old, but there are things to wear, and she wasn't wearing even half of that. And I am trying to figure out one thing.... I understand that it would be impossible for her to move as much as she did and sing well, I hope that the Idol producers didn't think that their fancy camera work hid for a millisecond that she was lip-synching, but why would anyone choose to pre-record their voice in a crappy "whisper sing?" Oh, Paula, you are a cold hearted snake.

Next up was No Doubt, who looked good, played well, and should have given Gwen a sedative before she ran on stage like a naturally hyper child that just ate a whole candy store (and injected crack directly into her blood stream.) Were the mid sentence five push-ups necessary? Or the body flailing? I will say, she is a goddess and I am jealous of who she gets to get into bed with, and who Gavin gets to get into bed with.

And lastly, there was Daughtry. He always sounds spot on. This performance was no exception But did anyone else notice that his song lasted for about 6 minutes too long?


The Ultimate Pillow
Feather? Hard? Soft? How about Yorkie? Available? Great.

Quote Of The Day

Jordan: “What is in a gin and tonic?”

Me and Eric: “Really?”

Jordan: “Gin and seltzer water?”

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Snake Head Found On T.G.I. Friday's Broccoli Plate

I like Friday's. The day and the chain. When they came out with the deep fried green beans and wasabi ranch dipping sauce, I was sold. Applebees is gross, and Houlihan's is so far. But a startling new development has caused me to pay heed: A man found a decaying carcass of a snake head nestles in between some of his cooked broccoli on his plate at T.G.I. Friday's.

Said victim chose not to sue, or make a big deal out of it, which is commendable. I hate people that sue over sore necks and hot coffee. But I can't say I wouldn't have sued. If my father was on the receiving end of a snake head, I am pretty sure I would have had no choice but to sue them, for his life insurance. Yuck. Ew. I don't know how I am feeling about this whole situation right now...


Hands Up! Baby, hands up! Give me your love, gimme gimme your love...

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “What’s the boy version of Julia?”

Alex: “Julian.”

Julia: “I like Jake better.”

Alex: “Well, you’re obviously not good at root words.”

Julia: “How about Timmy?”

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

American Idol Recap- Season 8

Last night was my long awaited Rock Night at American Idol, and they announced in the beginning of the show that for the first time, singers would be paired into duets at one point in the show. Slash was their mentor, which seemed logical. From Guns 'N Roses to Velvet Revolver to Idol. Right.

Adam Lambert gave the first performance of the night, but he sang it as if he were closing down the show. He chose "Whole Lotta Love," by Led Zeppelin, and can I just ask: Who picks Led Zeppelin? He obviously knew what I was doing, and while it wasn't entirely my "thang," it was definitely Paula's! Paula: "That was a whole lotta perfect!"

Second up was Allison Iraheta with Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby." When she wasn't belting out, I thought she sounded a little off, but so did Janis, so maybe I shouldn't have honed in on that. She sang her guts out, almost literally, and I think she deserves props for the guts to get on stage and do what she did. The judges were right, though. She needed to put any sort of spin on it and she didn't.

Then, it was time for the first duet of the night with Kris Allen and Danny Gokey. They chose "Renegade" by Styx, and I think it was a smart decision on their part. Their harmony literally melted my heart. Literally. I am dead. And from the grave: Who told them to hold up their mic stands in the air and tilt them "angrily?" Transparent and cheesy does not win. Simon announced that Danny was the better singer of the two, and Kris took is really poorly, and poor thing had to do his solo act next.

Kris Allen picked The Beatles' "Come Together." Wah wah wah. I love The Beatles, don't get me wrong, but apparently we was unconcerned with infusing a pulse back into me. Simon said "It was a bit like eating ice for lunch." And while I don't understand it completely, I agree.

Danny Gokey was next, and for me, his interpretation of "Dream On" was 99.998% on fire. His last couple of notes and that scream were a complete miss. He should never ever try to do that ever ever again. Like, if he was being mugged in a dark alley and needed help, he should still not use that sound.

Adam and Allison were the last duet of the night with "Slow Ride," and I think the judges reactions were proof enough for me that this gig is rigged. I thought they sounded good on their own, but every note together was not good. Opposite of Danny and Kris, who definitely kicked ass in their combined notes. 


The only thing good about nighttime traffic...

Quote Of The Day

Carrie: “Can you play my favorite song? Methadone? Mellanoma?" 

Me: “Melatonin!”

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I'm No Gamer....

I am no gamer, but how good does THIS advertisement make gaming seem??


Face 'O Fear

You put a rawhide in her mouth, she is happy as a.... dog with a rawhide in her mouth. But you put it on her head and all hell breaks loose!

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “We’re going to play Settlers Of Catan.”

Alex: “I’m seriously gonna go to the corner and pay 100 dollars for you to get a life.”

Julia: “Settlers of Catan- C- A- T- A- N. Wikipedia it and you’ll see the board game that I call home.”

Monday, May 4, 2009

Invisible Children

While getting my Friday Oprah fix, a young group of activists were able to secure some on-air time, which I have never seen happen, so I thought I would give them some real estate here, as well.

These young activists saw a film made about the enslavement and abuse of Ugandan children, and decided to make it their mission to grow their group and raise awareness and hopefully funds. I started screening the video this weekend, and I will finish it soon. The only reason I stopped watching is because after a week of reality, I thought it would be best to combat life with fluff for a little while.

As far as international atrocities go, I can safely say I am not well educated. But the fact that this Ugandan situation is rampant is reason enough for everyone to at least know about it. Knowledge is power, even if being a member of the world's most "powerful" country doesn't feel so right now.

Whole Chicken In A Can

I know that American's like their canned food, and conversely, their elastic stretch pants and pills for denial, but a canned, WHOLE, chicken? Who thought that sounded remotely okay? Gizmoda has pictures and additional coverage links here: Oh God, It's a Whole Chicken in a Can.


The middle shot is definitely a result of me saying, "Don't hump your sister!" Long lived, obviously. Blurry bandit.

Quote Of The Day

Aaron: “Me and Mike do not talk about spooning all the time.”

Me: “I know. Julia just told me that her term for ‘freebasing’ is ‘spooning.’”

Aaron: “Exactly! And I was trying to explain to her that spooning is like cuddling, not freebasing.”

Julia: “I know what spooning really means. But I just want to make them feel sexually uncomfortable when I tell Aaron to quit spooning with Mike.”

Friday, May 1, 2009

Ogre To Ogre

I love the idea of a unique and memorable wedding. I love parties with themes. But I'm talking seashells, or "red." But to make your wedding an over-the-top Halloween costume ball, with only bride and groom dressing up, is more than just a theme.

So, just to clarify, two strangers who would ever consider dressing up like Shrek and his ogre bride meet. Out of everyone on this planet, they find each other, date, fall in love, have other things in common, get engaged, have family's mingle and mesh, get married and actually go through with that ceremony... and I'm single. Interesting.


Why did I bother getting a large couch again?

Quote Of The Day

Will: “You missed the whole shark conversation?!”

Brian: “Dude, I’ve been in the internet. Literally. In it.”

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

For starters, Allison and Danny were immediately told they were safe- thank goodness! That made the bottom three comprised of Adam Lambert, Matt Giraud, and Kris Allen. Kris Allen was saved first, and then Adam Lambert was saved, sending Matty G. home. If anyone says they are surprised, I would be damn curious to see what show they've invested too many hours into. Matt sang really well leaving, but it doesn't matter, he is the bottom of that group, no matter how well he does. I will miss him. And I'm pretty upset that they didn't have the real Justin Timberlake on as a mentor so they could stand side-by-side.

The first guest "singer" of the night was Natalie Cole. She looked great, and sounded astonishingly awful. My mother would smack me over the head if she read this, but it would have been a welcome reprieve to have my ears ringing out the sound of her "singing."

Everyone else (Taylor Hicks and Jamie Foxx) sounded a-okay.