Friday, February 27, 2009

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

The most obviously talented singer so far, Allison Iraheta, makes it! I have to say, with this show and competition, I am often so proud of American voters getting it right. Matt was out, which surprised me, but I think that Kris Allen winning instead was still a good choice. A lateral move, if you will. And finally, Adam Lambert wins in a face off between him, Nick, and Norman. I am not surprised he made it, and I'm looking forward to hearing them all perform again!

And I wanted to say "Yay!" for Brooke White performing. While I wasn't completely in love with her song, "Hold Up My Heart," I am still an huge fan!


Calm after the storm.

Quote Of The Day

Alex: “Aly, you can only go to 59th street for this holistic treatment.”

Julia: “Wait, are you guys talking about feet or drugs?”

Thursday, February 26, 2009

American Idol Recap- Season 8

I have decided that I really dislike this year's new American Idol format, or having the judges pick the top 36, and then have them perform in groups of 12 for us to vote the top make, female, and next highest vote-winner into the real top 12. It is not fair for one huge reason: Who is picking these groups of 12? Last week, none of the girls could hold a candle to three ladies from last night: Allison Iraheta, Megan Joy Corkrey, and Mishavonna Henson. And I don't know why I am outraged, but there I was last night, shaking my fist at the screen...

The first "singer" of the night was Jasmine Murray, a 17 year old from Columbus, MS. She sang "Love song" by Sara Bareillis, which I thought was indulgent, and just not pretty sounding. The judges agreed. She probably kicks ass at amateur karaoke night, though!

Second was Matt Giraud, a 23 year old from Kalamazoo, Michigan. He played "On My Mind" on keyboard during Hollywood week and I loved him instantly. Last night, he sang "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay, and I thought he did an amazing job! Could fill in for Chris Martin anytime! Judges didn't like it- I was surprised! I agreed that he sounds even better more soulful and bluesy, but he still was so great.

Jeanine Vailes was third. And for a 28 year old from Washington, DC, I thought she would be more experienced. She performed "This Love" by Maroon 5, and she lost me the moment she announced they were one of her favorite bands. I didn't like how she slowed the songs' tempo- I didn't like her chorus- she sang mostly too deep. She sounds a little better higher up in octave. Judge: "The best part was when it was over." I agree. Her begging for votes would have done her in if she wasn't already finished.

Nick Mitchell, aka Norman Gentle was the fourth to "perform." This twenty-seven year old from Brookfield,CT has been the joker this season. He is hilarious, his alter-ego could have his own off-Broadway show. He does not deserve to be on American Idol. While singing "You're Gonna Love Me" he was soooo whiny! Nasally, and just not good enough. I am disappointed they have him in the top 36. But kudos to Norman for the "Doogie!" mid-song when he walked passed Neil Patrick Harris.

Allison Iraheta, lucky number five, from Los Angeles, CA and only sixteen years old. When she announced, "I'm a junior at high school," I'm not going to lie... I thought "America, maybe she shouldn't be taken away from her studies." She then proved me SO wrong! She sang "Alone" by Heart, and she killed it! I loved her, she sounds so much older, I was increasingly blown away.

Kris Allen, 23, from Arkansas sang "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson. He started out flat, ended up being good, but reminded me of elevator music. He belted out notes like a seasoned pro and was cute, but I think he will be forgettable, as Simon always puts it.

Megan Joy Corkrey, also 23, from Sandy, Utah was seventh of the night. She sang "Put Your Record On" by Corrinne Bailey Ray, and it was an awesome song choice for her. I thought she had an off night and she was still great! I want to see her get a record deal, because I want to buy her records.

Matt Breitzke is a twenty eight year old welder from Oklahoma. He is big and bald, and ummm, big and bald. He sang Tonic's "If You Could Only See." and I thought it was a perfect song choice for him (even though the judges did not.) He seems like a sweet guy, but he had no personality, and his cold dead stare made me not want to watch my TV.

Jesse Langseth is 26 from Minneapolis, MN. While singing "Bette Davis Eyes" and, I thought that she needs to enunciate a whole lot more. She had nice tone, but she talks and "mmmhmm's" way too much during judgement, and her competition blew her away, even though she might never be able to grasp that.

I was looking forward to seeing Kai Kalama, 27, from San Clemento, CA. He chose "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted." Please check out the very start of this video where he makes the ultimate stinkface! I thought he sounded good. He looks immensely interesting, but wasn't immensely good.

Eleventh up was Mishavonna Henson from Irvine, CA at only 18 years old! She sang "Drops of Jupiter" and the judges said she seemed too serious and mature. If you were singing in front of millions of people for the very first time for all of your hopes and dreams, wouldn't you be serious, too? I thought her sound was so clean and crisp, and she by far out-sang most of the females. Choosing is too hard!

Adam Lambert, last of the night, sang "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones. Originally from Hollywood, CA and 27, Adam was very theatrical, but vocally sexually ambiguous, which I think could hurt in a popularity contest. But, I wanna be his friend 100%! Randy said he is a combination of "Stephen Tyler, Fall Out Boy, Robert Pattinson from Twilight, and My Chemical Romance." Of course, I disagree. Just because he has longish hair doe not mean he is the most charismatic and superb being of this country's recent history. Okay, Randy?

Quote Of The Day

Will: "Morning, Julia! How are you?"

Julia: "Tired... Of you."


Puggle= Pug + Beagle. I remember when I used to bring Marley to the dog park to have her prance around and put every other dog's cuteness to shame. (When you have a two pound puppy with the most mushable face on Earth who likes to chase around the biggest dog in the park, it's hard not to insight "awwwwwwws!") And I used to beam when someone told me she looked like a beagle, and cringe when someone said they saw her as more pug-like. 

Little did I know that the only praise worth receiving is "She is so well behaved!" In some pictures, I see all beagle, in some, I see all pug. But I think the important thing to remember is she's got a weight problem.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Quote Of The Day

A few days old, but losing none of its charm...

Julia: “Oh my g-d! High school musical comes out today!”

Me: “So you’re going to the movie theater?”

Julia: “No! It comes out on DVD, I have to complete my trifecta!”

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Okay, so maaaaybe I overestimated the size of their mouths when I got their latest dog toy.

Quote Of The Day

Jordan: "I'll pick Marley up at one."

Me: "She'll be here with bells on."

Jordan: "What? Why?"

Me: "It's an expression!"

Jordan: "A f***in' horrible one! Don't use that on me again, I'm not that guy."

Monday, February 23, 2009

Quote Of The Day

Jordan: “I just accidentally spit in the hamper, because I thought it was the toilet.”

Mom: “Yeah, I could see how that could get confusing.”

Friday, February 20, 2009


The kitchen and closet- the two most important rooms in any girl's life. It feels incredible to have all of my clothing and shoes and bags behind one single door. I could get used to this...

Quote Of The Day

Me: “Hey, do you have a studfinder?”

Alex: “You got a stud right here. So I guess you are the studfinder.”

Me: “Ummmmm....”

Alex: “Yeah, yeah. I will bring it in tomorrow.”

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

Last night's three winners:

Most popular Girl: Alexis Grace- She sounded better and stronger as she got announced as in the Top 12!

Most Popular Guy: Michael Sarver- He seemed more relaxed and charismatic, but I still want that necklace gone.

And the last contestant to go through..... Danny!!!! I was literally clapping excitedly until Mojo thought that I was playing this new game by the name of "Nip at her fingers while I spin around like a lunatic and whine in pure elation."


That bookcase is my most prized possession. You can always buy a new puppy, but you can't always fall in love with a storage unit.

Kidding, kind of.

Quote Of The Day

Me: "Blood runs thicker than water."

Alex: "Yeah, but fists run harder than blood.”

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

American Idol Recap- Season 8

I have been an American Idol fan from when Ryan Seacrest had a cohort, when Paula Abdul showed up to work sober, and from before the intro music became one of the most obnoxiously repetitive sounds known to man. Come on, American Idol, you have quite thoroughly branded yourself! You may stop with the intro music now, really. 

Something that is so different from this show than any other show I like, is that this show actually lends itself to commentary. Normally, when I am in the middle of an action sequence in 24 and someone sitting near me, says something- anything- I want to turn back time and have a re-d0. But with American Idol, it's fun to see who likes whom, and I especially like critiquing their performances, mostly for the fun of seeing if my critiques match the judges. So, this season, I am jotting down my comprehensive episode recap.

Last night, there were 12 contestants, and only three of them will be moving forward to be part of the actual Top 12, after all four sub-groups perform. I like the excitement of this format, for sure, but it is a lot of pressure right off of the bat. In this group, there were some people I like a lot, and so many of them will drift off into oblivion after tonight's announcements.

First performer of the night was Jackie Tohn. She is a New York native, and I wanted to love her performance, because her ruddy and different voice is so interesting. She picked "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley and it was not her best performance. I kept thinking, "Why are you shaking your shoulders? Control your voice." And after her performance, given her statements of wanting to change nothing, I have decided she is expendable. (If only my vote mattered!) Jackie, you are an unsigned performer, if you are not constantly striving to do better, get a crappy job and stop wasting time.

Next up was Ricky Braddy, from North Carolina. Let me say this: If Ricky does not advance to the next level, I will not blame the public for their stupidity. I will blame the producers for their selectivity.  Paula even mentioned that he had not been featured at all over the last three weeks, so he has no fan base whatsoever. And he so deserves one! He sang "A Song For You" by Leon Russell, and it was incredible! But BOOO to his mother for spouting "braddybunchdotcom."

The third performer of the night was Alexis Grace, from Memphis. She sang "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin. I thought she was good. Not top three worthy. And the judges seemed to get so pulled into her hype. Yes, she was vanilla, and now she has done a 180 with her look. But vocally, that should be viewed separately. I thought she was weak compared to Aretha, and Simon Cowell said she was "By a mile, the best contestant we've ever had." I hope he reviews last night's tape and rescinds that comment tonight, because it was absurd.

Fourth up was Brent Keith, from Ohio, and I don't like him. He sang Country music, "Hick Town," he was good, and sounded like every other professional Country music singer. To be honest, his was the only performance I fast-forwarded through, because ten seconds felt like 75. I felt like he was very much interested in manipulating the public to gain votes. He went so far as to shrug his shoulders when receiving a not-so-glowing critique and saying, "I'm sure Country music fans thought it was good." He also had the whole "I live paycheck to paycheck" shpiel. Yeah, Brent? So do most Americans. And Country music fans, if he doesn't win this competition, his tickets will be MUCH cheaper...

Stevie Wright was fifth. A seventeen year old girl from Phelan, CA. She chose to sing "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift, after she sang "At Last" by Etta James in try-outs. That's absurd! She was painfully nervous, her breathing was off, she sounded like she had the lung capacity of a seventy year old smoker, and I winced- a lot. Although I think she has potential and I like her voice, I would be surprised if she didn't receive the fewest amount of votes. And her mommy-figure actually said, "And she's never done this before!" Nobody has. But everyone did better.

Sixth up to mic was Anoop Desai from North Carolina singing "Angel Of Mine" by Monica. I thought the performance was on par with a show I would pay for, he has a sweet voice, and was mostly on pitch. Simon said that not enough people know the song, and I disagree. I just don't like the song from a guy when it comes down to it.

Lucky number seven was Casey Carlson, who hails from Minneapolis, and chose to sing The Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic." I thought, based on that performance, that I would buy an album of hers, because I totally wanted to sing along with her in my car. However, I agree with the judges that she chose an insane song to cover, but I think they went a little overboard in tearing her apart!

Michael Sarver was up next, from Jasper, Texas. I dislike how he says he works on an oil rig as a Roughneck. That's like saying "I write books and a pencil pusher." He sang "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin Degraw. He sounded great, he has no charisma whatsoever, and I thought his necklace would rip from his neck.

Anne Marie Boskovich from Nashville, TN is adorable! She sang "Natural Woman." I thought vocally, she was a little weak at times, a little flat, and not worthy based on that song. But Ted Danson in the audience seemed to love her, and I don't want to upset Ted. 

The tenth performer was Stephen Fowler- HUGE disappointment personally, from Cleveland, Ohio. I've been loving his voice even when he forgot his lyrics and walked off-stage last week. He chose to sing "Rock With You" by Michael Jackson. Why, Stephen? It was very cheesy and completely antiquated. I thought it was self-indulgent, because it was right on his comfort zone but he was living in a wrong century. Simon said "Corny" and that is being mild.

Tatiana Del Toro from Puerto Rico was up next. Ah, Tatiana. I want to refrain from talking about you, because I don't want you to gain popularity through notoriety, which seems to be perfectly fine by her. Although she reeks of falsity and everything I dislike in people, her rendition of "Saving All My Love" by Whitney Houston was by far the best female vocal of the night. I was shocked. Her plea at the end: "America, please vote, it's my dream and it's up to you to keep it alive." Please, Tatiana, it's you you are selling, so it is entirely up to YOU to keep it alive.

And saving the best for last, Danny Gokey from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He has been my favorite every night of this show this season. He came to try out four weeks after his wife passed away, because she would have wanted him to. He sang "Hero" by Mariah Carey, and did well. He has done much better in the past, though. So, for the first time in Idol history, I called and voted. I hope everyone likes him as much as I do.


Isn't it the most bizarre thing that when you put furniture into a room, thereby filling it up, that it seems so much bigger?

Quote Of The Day

Alex: “You’re going to find out that about 98 percent of the time, I am right, and the other 2 percent, you'll forget what the f**k we're talking about anyway.”

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What's Old Is New

"They" say that everything comes full circle...

So, San Francisco can be crediting with spear-heading THIS trend. I totally understand the snobby water becoming totally un-chic, but tap water? If I can taste water, it's not good.

Gwennie's Blog

My late Grandpa Lou used to call me Gwen, or Gwennie, and almost always, Gwendolyn. I'm not sure how it started, perhaps he came up with it and I giggled uncontrollably as a toddler and it stuck? He isn't around to ask, though, so I can only take it at face value. And so when Gwyneth Paltrow came on the scene, I immediately loved her. It didn't hurt that she toted a matching Brad Pitt with her, either. I have always thought her characters were brought to life with a captivating innocence that is rare and beautiful. I've been intrigued by her extreme diets, her taste in music, and her move "across the pond." 

The only reason I haven't ever considered myself a super fan is because she is so secretive! And I don't blame her. I respect it entirely. It's just a part of who she is. Or is it? I just heard about her blog, or website, GOOP. There are six sub-sections: Make, Go, Get, Do, Be, and See, where Gwyneth shares with the world her family recipes, her detox schedule, advice on parenting and cities she prefers and loves. Truly, this is the mecca of personalized information, controlled by the only person who can know what is fact. There is something that is rubbing me the wrong way still.... Is it that Gwen seems to be exploring blogging in an immature way of modeling her outfits?

For now, let's say, she is cute, the site is cute, the idea is cute, and selling out isn't.

Yours truly, 

Kingsford Goes To The Beach

I don't know what this video does to your heartstrings, but it jumped on mine, then gnawed at them, and finally, had them slap me in the face

How great would it be to have a miniature Kingsford squealing around my house with the dogs, aside from obviously ensuring hatred from everyone on my floor?


If there is one thing I have always loved to look at, it's Before and After pictures, video, anything. I cannot tell you how many Saturday mornings I have spent contemplating getting my hair Japanese or Brazilian straightened, and I sit on my laptop rechecking the same before and after shots over and over again. And this obsession lends itself to makeover shows. For instance, I tape every episode of What Not To Wear on TLC. Do I like it? Sure. Do I really care? Not so much. But what I do care about is the last ten minutes of the hour long show, where the makeover comes together. New hair, new face, new clothes. And then they do a side-by-side comparison. Sigh.

This week, I will be posting some Before and After's of my new apartment. Before I moved in to post-move in. And while each week, there is evolvement, I thought now would be as good a time as any.

Quote Of The Day

Carrie: “Veal is delicious.”

Me: “Eeew, you’re disgusting.”

Carrie: “I like all animals, cats, dogs…”

Friday, February 13, 2009


Mojo Matches.

Celebrity Interviews

Everyone is talking about Joaquin Phoenix's seemingly drugged outappearance on David Letterman two nights ago. He seemed more than distant, definitely drugged, and agitated. After stating he was giving up on acting, while on the show to promote a movie (of which he didn't even remember his co-star Nicole Kidman's name), his being on the show was definitely a confusion for all. "There is no off switch for genius." Please.

With that being said, light has been shed on two men who I used to dislike. One man was David Letterman himself. Having grown up in an evenly split Letterman/Leto household, I don't think my dislike could be in any way concluded as being environmentally produced. The thing with David is that I just don't think he's funny. His top ten lists are his highlight, and I can make them up myself. He giggles to himself all the time, which is great, because one of us should be laughing. However, after seeing THIS clip, while he first tried to interview Joaquin, and then just immediately had to throw jabs at him, laugh in his face at him while keeping the guest seated, well, my hat goes off to you, sir! I may not like your show, but I will never again say I dislike you, apparently, I only dislike your writers and producers.

The second man that is continuing to prove himself in my good graces, because I'm sure he cares, is Alec Baldwin. You win! I am a huge fan. I love you, I love everything about your comedic timing and seriousness in the face of hilarity. I love that you don't give a crap about insulting a fellow actor, as so many twenty-somethings in your industry tip-toe around insulting anyone they might bump into on a red carpet somewhere. Alec, I used to dislike you because I thought that you beat up your ex wife, and you did actually leave an awful message to your poor daughter on her voicemail. Sure, it should not have been shared with the world, sure, you were frustrated, but it is without excuse. However, since I am not your daughter, and I have loved you since Beetlejuice, and through 30 Rock, I love you!

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “They listed the twins Cole and Spruce or something in the top 20 hottest stars in Hollywood. I was like, ‘No, they’re not. They’re fetuses.’”

Me: “Teen Magazine; gets you every time.”

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Fuel- Twilight Premiere

It is not for us to judge.

I completely understand.


These dogs are not Marley and Mojo. But they are living seemingly similar lives just a few towns away in my friend Suzanne's house. Her yorkie is much more obedient. Shockingly so. And the puggle? Could very well be Marley's sibling.

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “This is ugly! (Throw’s Will’s toy.)”

Brian: “Julia, what were you like as a little girl?”

Julia: “I don’t know Brian, what were you like as a little girl?”

Brian: “I was shy, but really outgoing.”

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Happy Birthday Jennifer Aniston

And THIS is why I love Heather B. Armstrong!

Door In The Floor

This door in the floor leads to an amazing spiral wine cellar. The only hitch? It costs $30,000 dollars. And I try not to buy $30 bottle of wines. Quite the conundrum...

"I Like Seal Meat Better"

People have too much time on their hands. Who is funding this?:
*Warning: May make you want to eat fast food, or seal.*

Butt, What?

Oh, Europeans! This is from Crapstone, England. Figures....


I wanted to thank my Uncle David for hosting the first pictures of my apartment and my cousins. We moved in on the same day- different ends of the east coast.


Without A Cue

Get it? Like "Without A Clue?" Melissa suggested that a few of us go to a murder mystery dinner. LOVED the idea. And after going to this one, I am still craving going to a real murder mystery dinner. We wound up going to the performance called "Death By Disco."

Death By Disco
Welcome to The Land of Oz Discoteria, and the World Championship King and Queen of Disco Dance Contest! What a night this should be. Our finalists will be bumping to that disco beat, each and every one of them hoping to be crowned the new monarch of the light fantastic. Our DJ, The Boogie Man, is going to be spinning some killer tunes, so put on your polyester, and your platform shoes, 'cause one of our contestants will Cha-Cha right into the chain gang as murder erupts in this '70's disco mystery!
When I think of these dinners, there is a huge wooden table and chandeliers, and dark wood paneling on the walls. People are dead serious, stay in character, an old butler serves people dinner... This was not that. A few (55) of us gathered in a brightly lit upstairs room of a Charlie Brown's where this disco themed murder "mystery" was funny and different and not at all professional or believable. But it was something fun and different, and I am definitely looking forward to finding something more fitting with what I thought all murder mystery dinners would include. 

On the upside: everyone had to write out their 3 answers at the end of the performance:
  1. Murderer
  2. Method
  3. Motive
And out of those 55 people, yours truly was the only person to get all three answers correct. Natural investigative skill, or just too many hours reading more intricate and better disguised murder mystery novels? I won a tote, and a plastic cup that in their own words "Will not keep water cold, or hot, and if I dish-wash it, it will not even keep liquids inside of it anymore!"


My cousin's ex-girlfriend bought this bunny in Connecticut, brought it down to Rockland County and then drove it somewhere up near Syracuse, NY. Sadly, the traveling didn't sit too well with her and she quickly passed into rabbit heaven. But I wanted to remember "Princess Sparkles" who proved to me that even if an animal isn't charming or especially adorable, if it is a baby, has fluff, and is impossibly tiny, then cute it is.

Quote Of The Day

Alex: "How was the talk with your parents?"

Julia: "It’s East meets West."

Alex: "It’s like East meets East to me, but okay.”

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Lonely Island

As anyone who knows me should be aware, it's fairly public knowledge that I LOVE SNL digital shorts, especially music videos. And since Andy Samburg has adopted this project, I have been link sharing like I was his publicist! 

Here's a look at the best:

J*zz In My Pants:

D*ck In A Box:

and most recently, I'm On  A Boat.

And these comic geniuses, who often bring on Justin Timberlake, have created for the world The Lonely Island. Which of course means, I MUST BUY THIS ALBUM!


This is the view from Le Jardin on a cloudy and miserable Sunday afternoon.  I had driven past this tiny restaurant so many times, I was thrilled when my aunt invited me to dine there. And the first impression, as you can see, is incredible! It's not everyday you get to sit next to a floor to ceiling window that spills out onto the greatest skyline in the world. (For me, it is kind of everyday, but let's not split hairs.) The waiter was obnoxious, and the food was enormously disappointing. The scallops were great, I will give them that. But my Sea Bass was a bit fishy, disconcerting, to say the least. And my aunt and mother ordered scampi. And it came out as a strange creamy mess. If I were a food critic, I would say something like:  

"Great views plus disappointing food plus bad service just doesn't add up to a good taste at Le Jardin." 

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “You made a good point. What do you get someone that has everything? A heart??”

Monday, February 9, 2009

Raccoon Attack

The only thing worse than a raccoon is a Russian raccoon.  


Guess which one was for Mojo and which one was for Marley...

Quote Of The Day

Me: “I have a halo on my head.”

Alex: “Yeah, with two horns sticking through the halo. Actually, that’s how it’s holding it up. It’s kind of like horseshoes.”

Friday, February 6, 2009


While I was packing up my last apartment, my friend Lauren came by to help. I will never be able to put into words how much I despise packing. So, for most people, a friend coming over is a blessing. For myself, it is a life raft! And in our purging, we found a hideous headband that I can only hope I never wore in public. Damn Carrie Bradshaw and her inexplicable ability to allow me to think he get-ups are reasonable!

Here, Marley is saying "Please, no, not meeeeee!":

She thought if she attacked the headband, it would learn...

It did not.

That's what I looked like in it, too!

Quote Of The Day

Me: “You have GOT TO read Twilight!”

Carrie: “Ooooh, does it have lots of sex in it?”

Julia: “Yeah, Carrie, it’s a book about teenagers in high school. Lots of sex. You are a sicko.”

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Break-Up Diaries

Lifetime has put together some short videos of break up stories to honor those who are not celebrating the upcoming Valentines Day holiday with as much gusto as those in happy relationships. And if you can get past the initial, in-your-face Always commercial, they are actually really interesting little stories. Tid-bits into other people's lives.

The first story that popped up was Beth's. And she seems like a very sweet and kind human being. And while I may not write the dictionary on love advice, please listen closely: Next time you get stood up by your boyfriend, go back to his place and walk in on him having an affair, don't decide it is a bad time to speak with him and then come back the next day to talk when he has cleaned up after himself. Why bother driving over the second day? 

FMyLife (.com)

Let me preface this by saying, I do not believe that even half of these entries are real. People spending time making up  depressing anecdotes or mortifying one liners hardly seems beyond the realm of possibility. But with that being said, I think everyone should go check out:

Even if an eighth of these are real, it's a great confidence booster. Having a bad day? Share it with the world? Having a slightly bad day? Read about other bad days to make yours seem special and wonderful. I have decided to quote some good ones. The comments are also an entertaining read.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having sex with for 6 months. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to my bed. FML


Me and Mojo. Or Yoda?

Quote Of The Day

Me: “Do you know that if you had nobody near you, you would just keep on talking?”

Alex: “Do you know that if I was alone right now, I’d be a lot happier than I am now?”

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Night Time Is The Right Time...

What has always surprised me about volunteering is how difficult it has seemed to be. This inpentrable force field that I have given up on with the first "no" every single time! I remember when I was younger, I wanted to volunteer in the children's ward of a hospital, reading, or helping with arts and crafts. (I was heavy into reading Lurlene McDaniel at the time.) Someone said no, and I was done. I have tried googling "volunteer services" many a time, and I have come to realize that nothing comes to those who want to help so easily. Finally, I went down to the Bergen County Animal Shelter in Teterboro and asked how to get on a list to walk dogs. This woman told me that I would have to start volunteering by shoveling shit out of the cages. So, I gave up. It's not that I feel that I am above pickng up strange dog droppings, most of them the size of my own dog, it's just that I feel very strongly that a person shoveling poop is a person earning a paycheck. Also, I don't like people giving me parameters with my own damn time!

Just like those envelopes people get in the mail: Would you like to donate a minimum of $25 dollars today? Or $50? Does that mean my ten dollars wouldn't be welcomed? How about I take my hundred dollars of discretionary income and give it to someone who is less expectant?

Just in case anyone else has an inclination to give of their time, the most precious and duly gratifying of all personal offerings, here is an organization that seems to have it all together:

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “I don't know any asian girls that have any Pomeranians.”

Alex: “Oh. Except all of them.”

Julia: “They’re so cute, and their paws smell like Doritos.”


One green eye? Check. 
One blue eye? Check.
Two crazy eyes? Yep.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Quote Of The Day

Jordan: "I'm more chill than Marley when she's eating."

Aly: "Marley is highly tense when she is eating, scheming on how to steal her brothers food while inhaling hers."

Monday, February 2, 2009


Black hot fear.

Quote Of The Day

While driving as far east as the state of New York reaches:

Dad: "These are aaaaaalll grapes, very famous wine country. There are thousands of grapes.  Pause. There are probably literally millions of grapes. Pause. Grapes."