Monday, June 25, 2012


Marley's face looks about as dusty as the thin layer covering my bedroom dresser in the back. I never have the heart to tell her that she is on my pillow. So I crawl to the bottom of the bed, scratch fervently with both of my hands while simultaneously making a small circle until I plop down in the same spot I started and I sleep perfectly unless there is thunder, lightening, a creak in the neighborhood, a dog wagging its tail within a 30 block radius, or if it's my time for my hourly trot up and down the hallway as a volunteer security guard.

I'm On Fire

so you dont want to hear about my good song?

you dont want to hear about how i am getting on

with all the things that i can get done

the sun is in the sky and i am by my lonesome

so you don't want to hear about my good day?

you have better things to do than to hear me say

god its been a lovely day! everything's been going my way

i took out the trash today and i'm on fire...

so you don't want to hear about my good friends?

you dont have the guts to take the truth or consequence

success is in the eye of the beholder

and its looking even better over your cold shoulder

i'm not suggesting you get to line me up for questioning

but jesus think about the bridges you are burning

and I'm betting

that even though you knew it from the start

you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

so go ahead and talk about your bad day...

i want all the details of the pain and misery

that you are inflicting on the others

i consider them my sisters and i want their numbers

god its been a lovely day! everything's been going my way

i took up croquet today and i'm on fire

i picked up the pieces of my broken ego

i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go

but i'd love to have you up to see the place

i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....

hey! its been a lovely day! everything's been going my way

i had so much fun today and i'm on fire

god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way

ever since you went away hey i'm on fire.....

Good Day lyrics by The Dresden Dolls
No, I wasn't belting this out at the top of my lungs in repeat on my ride in to work today in flagrant defiance of the truth. Unless you saw me. Or heard me. In which case, I blame Amanda Palmer for being the most honest lyricist I could think of on such short notice.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Opposites Attract

Michelle: "I'm going to see Rock of Ages... Not the show, the movie."

Me: "Didn't know it was a movie."

Michelle: "Where have you been? Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, a bunch of other people..."

I look it up on IMDB... "Set in 1987 Los Angeles, Drew and Sherrie are two young people chasing their dreams in the big city. When they meet, it's love at first sight, though their romance will face a series of challenges."

Me: "You crack me up. We like such different things. I would rather do just about anything than sit through anything with a storyline like that."

Michelle: "Unique. I prefer it keeps the friendship interesting."

I fear that next, my oldest friend is going to sit me down in front of a big screen playing some Step It Up and Dance 9 movie with Elvis and Miley Cyrus singing in the background while speaking into a gas mask and the walls start spinning with swirls painted all over them. Basically, her choice Saturday afternoon is my bad acid trip. And we have been friends for cough*cough*cough years!


I guess it shouldn't have surprised me that in the Meat Packing District of lower Manhattan, where meat packing plants no longer exist, that they put incorrect signage in front of an empty storefront. I found out, after four hours of waiting under said sign, that this is in fact a lie, and taxi's do not pick you up here.

Visiting (Near) Rochester

Work is bringing me to the far North tomorrow afternoon. Highway driving on a highway with nothing but highway behing me and highway ahead and highway tunes blasting... I could handle a day like that. I will be staying about 40 minutes west and a little bit south of Rochester, NY and I mentioned the trip to a friend of mind currently working towards a pharmaceutical degree in that same city I thought I would never get to see again- by choice. Here are his words of advice:

Scott: "Make sure your wiper fluid is full. Soooooo many bugs...I hit one that might have been a small bird. Really. And then I puked."

Me: "Well, I am driving a rental, and I am pro-bug murder. So I will be fine."

Scott: "Let's just say I pulled into a rest stop strictly to clean my windshield."
I can just hear myself questioning the car rental advisor assigned to me tomorrow morning... While people around me are asking about gas mileage and smoking policies, I will be asking about potency of windshield wiper fluid.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Quote of the Day

Jordan: "Alright. It's time for me to get off the phone now. It's been 15 minutes and 20 seconds already- I'm looking right at my phone and I wanted to talk for only five minutes."

Me: "Well, my phone says fifteen minutes and fifteen seconds, technically."

Jordan: "Oh, maybe my phone says it's longer because it feels SO much longer on my end!"


Just wanted to say.... It's June! Halfway through this year. Speachless.