Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Disturbing Chic

Strange coincidence, so I hope:  The other day, my mother asked me to join her on her balcony, for more than just to suck in her second hand smoke. So I went out with her, and she delicately pulled out a neatly folder magazine cutout. Turns out, it was an ad for people to make loved one's ashes into gemstones and then they wear them as a daily reminder. Creepy! No judgement's passed, mind you, it's just not something I can see being on my list of possibilities. No thanks. Maybe, MAYBE, to create the ring to then throw off into the ocean instead of ashes that could blow back and cover my face. I tried to stop thinking about it entirely.
Then I run into this:  jewelry from pets. And since I might never be able to look at someone wearing a paw print pendant the same way again, I thought I would bestow upon you my same pleasure. You're welcome.

For Tony....

Indelible footprints in my brain:

A wise man focused his energies on understanding religions of all facets. He spent countless hours comparing modern literature to biblical lessons long since preached. Among his favorite works, he spent much time deconstructing and teaching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." It would be an injustice to say I would pick up where he left off, but something inside of me comes alive when I can make/see/share anything along that vein. This is from my friend, and it's as good of an example as I could think of.

Quote of the Day

Julia: "Someone stole my water. I am inferiorerated. "


I cherish encapsulated moments in time, where nothing but everything can pick me up and place me back in time. I wish high school felt this good while it was going on.


  "If you got something to say about her cone, say it to me first. I dare you." 

So Wrong, it's Wrong.

Who would think that "Koreannovation" would think of something off-the-wall? There is something unsettling about an open plastic casket for your pet, no matter how filtered and tepid the air is inside.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


This is Mojo's best-to-date attempt at The Dog

Although I will say it comes pretty naturally to him, since his head generally seems unproportionately large for his body. Don't let him know.

Quote of the Day

Jordan: "Facebook's to meet people, not to scare them away. As a friend, you should tell them what the deal is."

It's out of my control...

Two days ago, I stepped off of my elevator and was greeted by this wooden buffet table, of sorts. I think that in its' prime, it was chic and brought a great 1950's living room together.  In 2008, I can see it's years, it's neglect, it's probably opposition to everything else furniture-wise that it cohabitated an apartment with. 
Last night, I dreamt about working on this table, laboring over its' clean lines and cute peg legs. I dreamt that I was sanding it down in an open garage and getting it ready for a deep stain with a light crackle paint coating to appropriately antiquate it. Never mind the fact that I have no open garage space, the only painting I've ever done is my nails, and as far as sanding goes, I can't even touch a nail file because it gives me the goose-bumps.
And as I walked by my dream table, patiently sitting in my hall to be dragged down to the dumpster, I imagined somehow dragging it down to my car, putting my seats down, shoving it in, and driving it to my aunt's house for safekeeping. Even know, I am imagining where this table could be theoretically placed in my phantom home.  You may call me crazy, whatever that means, but I call the table possessed with the ability to draw me in.

Some Old, Some New

This is my favorite Youtube compilation ever!!! I hadn't seen a lot of these clips either, but it's totally worth it!!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Quote of the Day

This is a brief, random, and priceless conversation between an 8 year old boy and his mother:

Tristan:  "I like a girl at school that looks like a boy."
Maureen:  "Why?"
Tristan:  "'Cuz that's really awesome, that's why!"

And life only gets more confusing from here, Tristan.


Ah, those were the days. When Coca-Cola (registered trademark) was laced with actual cocaine, and the "meeting place" was a soda-shop. Where is our generation's meeting place? Street corners, that's where.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Quote of the Day

Stemming from a Word of the Day.

A.H.:  "Interdiction is dirty, 'cuz it's in, dic, and her."

Bears, Bears, Everywhere...

With all the news swirling about the "actor" grizzly bear killing his trainer, it's exciting, yet ever-so unsettling that a black bear is sighted in Paramus, NJ. A shopping mecca in New Jersey, and as suburban as suburbs can get, a cute and cuddly and highly lethal bear was roaming backyards, recycling bins, and sandboxes.

Maybe if Rocky, said bear, was paid enough or not so typecast in his roles, he wouldn't have to resort to such publicity stunts to get some attention around here.

Who can say no to this face? Not me!

Rough Walk

When I take it upon myself to walk both Marley and Mojo at the same time, disaster is my first fear. I get tangled, yanked, knotted, embarrassed, and anything else you can think of as being unpleasant in regards to walking two maniacally hyper dogs that have listening problems. 

And as evil as it is, it does make me feel better than even the untouchable Hollywood elite deal with some of my same daily issues. And worse!!


The Riches make me happy, even when they are making me anxious and upset. Bravo, well, technically FX, to the creators of The Riches. I wish I could get past all of the political red tape, through the investors paying for glory, beyond the CEO's who merely had high hopes for a pitch. And I want to thank the original creator behind the scenes and on paper. For those of you unfamiliar: 2 things.  1: Do not read on. And 2: Get familiar.
In a nutshell, a financially unsound family of con-artist gypsies basically crash into the good fortune of seamlessly moving into the American dream. Although it's too far-fetched to actually be relatable, one hopes, the writer's successfully create situations where this family's unique background aids them in perpetuating their greatest con. I liked the Rich family, and the double entendre that becoming the Rich family, in turn, made the family rich. And I liked it even more when they fell prey to the same materialistic values that I have been taught to hold so dear. And as the family's lie slips from supportive spiders web to entangled noose closing in on them, I was initially upset. Drawn into the notion that is this fairy tale scenario doesn't play out for them, then all hope is lost. Because, really, how could anyone survive losing a mansion and a career people kill for? How could anyone recover from saying goodbye to their walk-in closets and choice of automobiles?
And it really took me a while to realize that they were struggling to hold on to the one thing that was tearing their lives apart. One son has run away and might soon be joining opposing forces. The other son has to rely on spying to even try to spend time with his parents, and he is self-medicating by playing both a male and female role in his own young life. A daughter who has now been teased by the previously unattainable world of popularity, academia, and a shot at an honest future which all, most likely, will never be able to come to fruition. A mother who is doing drugs, fighting and losing to her inner demons, and trying to piece her life together as it gets further stretched apart right in front of her eyes. And a father who is so wrapped up in his career that family is not even close to a priority and everyone, including himself, is feeling it. 
So welcome to the American Dream. Where there's apparently only room for money or love, because love of money is too cumbersome to share the spotlight. And the ultimate irony is that only when the family tries to play out the honest American life, all of their intimate interactions become lies.  And still, given the choice between this and that, I still choose this.  Maybe the moral will resonate a little louder with someone else....

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Quote of the Day

I decided to switch things up a little today and braid some pigtails, which is something I don't remember ever doing in public. Just goin' with the urge, man. I figured I would get some hippie taunts, but it's not until I got to work (ie. spoke with people) that it was brought to my attention that I suddenly morphed into a Native American. So some good quotes were sure to follow:

A.H.: "Do you even know where Native Americans came from? They weren't just planted by mother Earth.
Me: "They came from Jesus."
A.H.: "Sh******t. I don't know what history books you read, but I read the right ones."
A.H.: (in picking an appropriate Native American name for Julia) "Her name will be Eagle Talon. Eagle Feather is too soft for her."
Me: "Are you sure you're not just greasing your muscles up?"
A.H.: "Heh heh. Why don't you just go outside and do a rain dance, okay Running Water?"

R.I.P. Fishy

Fishy, my silently inherited red Betta fish passed away this week. He lived to be one years old, which in a Betta's life is like 80, and given my history of caring for fish, is impossible. (His predecessor was murdered by the sunlight and poor judgement when I left his bowl for all to admire on my coffee table and the stream of daylight the following day had cooked him.) Although cold-blooded creatures freak me out, and the slightest possibility of chancing a single splash of his fecal water splashing up on me greatly reduced his bowl cleanings, he was a good fish. He always ate with tenacity, and given that was the only emotion he could share with me, I appreciated it. I even made guests watch his bowl when I fed him for the highly anti-climactic bite he would take near the top of the bowl. In searching for a look-a-like, I found this Fishy, fishy indeed. I guess brilliant creativity come one-in-a-twenty these days. But thia is the closest picture I was able to find. I'm pretty sure that Marley was staring at his empty space in my wall unit last night. *We will never replace you.*

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Quote of the Day

"I was gonna throw up in my mouth, but I don't think my mouth can hold all of that."

Happy 2nd Earth Day

Today, as most people don't know, is the second, and technically final, Earth Day of 2008. The first Earth Day was determined by the great (almost late) Mother Nature. And the second, today, April 22nd, was decided to be an Earth Day for purposes of teaching among many other things.  And as "All we are saying, is give peace a chance" is running through my mind, I thought maybe a small homage to this green and foggy planet would get John Lennon and his drum out of my mind.  I wish there was something I could actually do today. I can't allow Marley to fertilize the lawn in front of my building (large fines and bad karma). I won't pick through dumpsters for cans and other recyclables. I shouldn't break into the electricity closet in my apartment and pause the use of unnecessary energy overages. So what's a girl to do?
Today, I vow to watch tv in the dark, drive my car straight home and nowhere else, and to recycle everything I am personally responsible for. So what if that means pausing on throwing out cardboard until tomorrow when Earth Day #2 is over? It's not like Mother Nature deemed today anything important.  And if you want to buy recycled chic, here it is.

Bowling Madness

Last night marked the second bi-monthly bowling madness night I am trying to put into effect.  And while my coworkers might be less than present at the games, MTV pseudo celebrities are coming out in droves.  Last night, Sway from MTV news bowled next to me. And I can proudly announce that my bowling was unaffected by him being there. I neither bowled exceptionally well nor particularly poorly, which stays true to my personal bowling mantra. I will say he bowled remarkably well, with a tight and quick curve ball that yielded consistent results.
And, yes, his hair really is that big. It's the one question I have always had when catching him on screen (all thirty times, tops). Next time, I'm hoping to bowl near either the Cat Woman (to see if it looks the same in real life) or Carrot Top (to prove that he's real at all).


This is a direct quote taken from a much longer invite to my friend's annual birthday party:

"That's right ladies, gentlemen, sluts, crack heads, stoner monkeys, over-grown children, criminals, henchmen, and other forms of scum and villainy that I call friend (or acquaintances that somehow keeps getting invited) it's that time of year again. After much debate and masturbation I have decided that my birth will be celebrated on July 12th, 2008. Now do not think of this as a mere birthday for this is as much a celebration for you as it is of me. You can and join other lucky folks in celebrating the glorious day that I came into your lives (or other orifices if that is our relationship).

There will be cupcakes, kegs, burgers, hot dogs, whiffle ball, a swimming pool for tossing overly dressed people into, and drinking games for people who can't find the simple joy in drinking until you do something embarassing."

Is there someone who could really turn such an offer down? I mean, just in anticipation of mingling with even one of every example listed above is reason enough. I love how I know people as sick and twisted as myself.  And I love how I can hear Huntley speaking so clearly through his words.  Happy early birthday Rob/Huntley/Jesus/Dugan.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Quote of the Day

A crazed and inebriated Yankee fan:
"I said, boom boom boom, let me hear you say Abreu, Ah-bray-youuuuuu."

Friday, April 18, 2008


Next time you think about the unabashed brilliance of children, consider that this was thoroughly enjoyed, and respected by the youth of the '80's.
Oh Sharon, Lois, and Bram's Elephant Show, how you make me thankful I chose watching movies on repeat rather over broadening my horizons to the world of TV until later in life.

Quote of the Day

Me:  "Take me to Amsterdam. I'm Dutch."
A.H.: "Anyway Miss Holland. Miss Holland Tunnel."

(I'll be Dutch, red, purple, or upside down to be taken to Amsterdam.)

Hello, 911?

So this video is about 3 minutes long, and it will incite laughter, fear, and disgust. 

If for no other reason than having just watched this compilation, I will be voting my butt off in November. My highlight would be:  "There is a guy beating another guy in a movie. Can you help me with that?"

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Quote of the Day

Julia: "What is Journal Square?"
Alex:  "A journal is something squares keep."

Thaaaaaa Yankees Win!

If there's one thing better than going to a Yankees/Red Sox Game at Yankee Stadium, and having the Yankees win big, it would definitely have to be when Jorge Posada displays pure excellence.  I'm not quite sure what my immediate liking of Jorge stems from, but I think it has to do with his strong resemblance to Fievel Mousekewitz and Dopey. I love him deeply.

At some point later in the season, I will come to terms with this being the final season played in the Great Yankee Stadium, but I am too filled with shock and sadness to get into it now.  Looking into the over-commercialized Final Season Countdown Scoreboard last night gave me chills. Actually, even looking at my ticket, sentimentality swells inside.  

The highlights of sitting in the tier, right behind home plate, are almost innumerable. But let's just say, drunk uber-fans, and gutsy Boston fans make for an interesting show in and of themselves.  My favorite line of the night was delivered from a man who could barely stand up straight, screaming over to a discreetly dressed Boston fan. (If you are going to where a Boston hat, at least don't where it in a blue color, come on!)  He yelled over to her, "Your socks are really, really ugly."  That was better than any seventh inning stretch.

As some of you may have heard, there's been a David Ortiz debacle that included burying his jersey in the floor of the new Yankee Stadium. (details)

This, of course, cracked me up. I wouldn't mind being buried with an autographed ball signed by the entire 1996 World Series Championship Yankees Team.  Would you?  

And my favorite blog of the week:

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Quote of the Day

"She's all spicy now, isn't she? She just joined the Spice Girls' Reunion Tour."

The New "Airplane"

"With the amazing new buses, traveling from New York to Los Angeles takes as little as three days. That's less than half the time it took passengers to get there on our old planes."

The plane has been dethroned by inadequacy, negligence, and a consumer's need for more. Sometimes, I wish the The Onion was real. Conversations would be so much more interesting!!

Should I?

So, should I be offended? Or appreciatively warned?  Either way, I think it's a sign I should switch towns....

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Quote of the Day

A.H.:  "I'm trying to educate right now. Don't take away from my classroom discussion 'cuz you're only gonna add ignorance to it."


Numero Uno:

I dropped Marley off to get her cherry eye surgery this morning. It's been a long time coming, yet I still had nightmares all night about impossible disfigurements to ensue. And now as I wait an eternity to hear back from the Vet letting me know all is well, I find myself catching my breath every time the phone goes off.

Numero Dos:

(I forgot this from my 'Diatribe')
What gives people the right to tell me I better get my dog on a diet? She's not a slim dog, she isn't meant to be. I am told by professionals, not you, weird man on my elevator this morning, that her stature is to be expected. How many thin adult beagles and pugs have you known?  I think all elevator dialogue should remain within the realm of current and upcoming weather. The end.

Diatribe Time!!

This is an open letter to the inhabitants of the apartment building that I have found myself stuck inside. Excuse my outpouring of negativity and anger, it needs to be said.

Dear Tenants,

Since I made the financially wise, and emotionally unwise, decision to move into your beloved brick building, I have been inundated with obstacles that have become too overwhelming for me to handle.  Where shall we start?

Oh, my favorite until this morning has always been the man in the wheelchair accusing me of leaving him a hateful note on his windshield one day after pleasantly meeting him. There's nothing quite like being accused of a hate crime by an irate man waiting for me in my elevator on my way to work. I did not know which car was yours, I do not think you are on a "high horse, or high wheelchair," and I will never understand why you so fervently believe that note to have been mine. 

The woman who lives down the hall, who has made me suffer through fifteen minute speeches on her aching back, her 63rd birthday party, her love of New York, and childhood stories is another classic. I lived for months and months under the assumption that her constant monopolizing of my time, and ears, meant that I had an ally on my floor.  All hopes of that were shattered when I heard her cursing about me in spanish to a friend of hers. Yes, I know what "puta" means, and so does the rest of the free world, so thank you for your thoughtful and shallow attempt to hide me from your contempt. It feels nice.

The eighty year old man whose spot I accidentally parked in after a year and a half of not parking there. Thank you, kind sir, for not only assuming that I was personally attacking you and that I carried your cone down into the dumpster. But thank you for writing me an angry note and placing it under my windshield wiper. And thank you for sitting by my car for however long it would take so you could confront me and yell at me in person. I know I don't need to remind you that our building offers no assigned parking spots at all. You are eighty, and your years on this Earth have obviously warmed you to the plight of all human beings.

Thank you to whoever drove into the left side of my brand new car last night. I had actually hesitated buying a new car, due to the fact that I feel such an overwhelming sense of dread parking my car in the same lot with you people, but I fought it and bought something I love. How did you know how to so quickly ruin something I love? Quite astute of you all, really. 

A special thanks to the Superintendent, who doesn't care that my hot water in the bathtub is literally streaming out. Who also doesn't mind that I have toilet problems, severe leaks, noticeably growing wall deterioration, and no way to regulate the temperature in my unit. Your job of doing absolutely nothing certainly excuses you for accidentally handing my keys to the wrong person, causing me to replace all of my locks with no payment for it. Keep up the good work!

Thanks to the owner of the building. You have been a model citizen.  Thank you for the eviction notice after my check bounced due to identity theft a while back. I appreciated your understanding on the matter, and I especially appreciated your complete lack of regard over the conversation we had together when you excused the mishap.  Thank you for paying so little to fix the elevator and washing machines so that they are in constant need of repair to even barely work. And thank you for billing me extra dollars every month for things I have no control over. I loved paying $150 to you, because I missed an unscheduled and random Verizon visit to my door that I had nothing to do with. I love all those little fees and then threats of eviction, to make sure I can never quite save enough to leave.

You have all been wonderful to me. I love coming home at night. To no water, no hot water, drilling outside, and a sense of hopelessness and resent.  Things couldn't be better.


Apt. 5-G

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Animal Cracker Chronicles

An extended Quote of the Day:

A.H. starting a bag of animal crackers:

"The lion tastes pretty good. That is a monkey. I don't think he's gonna taste as good. The monkey's not as good as the lion. That's a bear. The bear is pretty good. I think that's supposed to be a tiger. I don't think that's gonna be really good... Awwww, can I really eat this guy? It's a koala bear. A hippo- wait, what is that? A nipple? I wonder if I just eat that section of cookie, milk will come out. See? That's either a nipple or the other thing.... A squatting camel."


"Is that good?"


"Well, a squatting camel tends to spit less."

Tears ensued.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

The power of suggestion is too strong a force for me to fight, I have long decided. The only reason I have never been to a psychic is not for fear of being ripped off, or fear of the supernatural. The thought that something may not happen unless it's suggested to me, and then I somehow act a certain way to bring such actions to reality scares the hell out of me. And I know the counter-argument: That maybe a psychic's intervention and personal actions leading a prophecy to come true is, in fact, exactly what fate meant for it to be.  But that argument is clearly too far fetched.

That's not to say that my flirtation with the idea of seeing a psychic won't one day lead into it actually happening. That is just my hesitation. And I can make my case in point on a smaller scale that makes me smile.

So, I was grabbing a bite to eat with my friend. I think it's fair to say we were both in equally pleasant moods.  Our waiter came over and squirted ketchup (NOT catsup) into little cardboard dishes. In mine, he drew a smiley face. In hers, a frowning face. "Cuz you're smiling" and "For your frown."  I grinned out of obligation and something else: uncontrolled reaction. And she sort of frowned. 

And all thanks to the prophetically controlling waiter. 

Friday, April 11, 2008

Thank You, AOL!

I LOVE AOL right now. It's not often I get to say that, but this awesome little pop-up showed up when I hit send.  How great is this?

A side note:  When people misspell the word "true" to be "ture," I can't help but to read "torture."

What do you think that means?  (Besides AOL being proud of me.)

Quote of the Day

A.H.-   "Having a lot of me's running around would be a great thing."

The Migration

So yesterday, as temperatures floated up around seventy-five degrees, I was overwhelmed by people's excited chatter, and the "dum dum dum" echoing inside of me. After too much time wasted trying to fall asleep in my way-warm bedroom, I brought a pillow and a sheet into my livingroom.  (This is so I can actually get rest before heat exhaustion claims my life.)

Sleeping in the livingroom, ice cold air blowing directly onto me, sans any covers, felt so incredible I could only enjoy it for about three minutes before it put me into a deep REM cycle. I woke up chilly and relaxed and ready to start my day.  And now, mere hours after waking up, my back is screaming for mattress springs and spinal support.  

And the countdown begins:  only 7 months until I can sleep in my bed again.  And people still ask me why I am looking to move......

Thursday, April 10, 2008

So many quotes to choose from...


"It's not whatever. It's forever."


If there's one thing I like, it is outrageous humor that hits somewhere in the vicinity to home. Understated, overrated, it doesn't matter too much to me. And this website captures at least a few shared sentiments:  someEEcards

Here are a few that jumped out at me:


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

"Life made him tough. Love made him strong. Music made him hard."

So, I saw Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story last night. It was fruitless, futile, inconsequential, ineffectual, nongermane, nonsensical, purportless, impotent, abortive, unavailing, valueless, inutile, feckless, expendable, meaningless, dissipative, cavalier, and improvident.

Much like this. Sorry.

Thankfully, the movie tagline has stuck with me: "Life made him tough. Love made him strong. Music made him hard."  It makes me giggle. So well hidden are its innuendo's and unwittingly inane highlights.  

And a thanks to John C. Reilly, for proving that every single actor in Hollywood has his price, and for teaching me that respect for one's craft is no match for an excessively unneeded additional paycheck.  I miss the serious and respected Reed Rothchild!

Quote of the Day

Alexander Hamilton:

"I'm Beijing Boycotting this."

**it's just one of those days**

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Are you in the market?

Have you ever experienced the overwhelming urge to throw your hands up in the air, pack up a small bag of your top possessions and leave the world you live in? A world of possibilities awaits us all. And then we get slapped into reality with a phone ringing, or a bill dropping from the sky, and the moment of open ended what-ifs are gone for the time being.

Well, this guy seems to have no qualms washing his hands of every responsibility he has slaved for his whole life. And his matter-of-fact way to sell and walk away seems so straight forward it's unthinkable.

The real questions become: Is this man so ready for change and exploration that he can forego a lifetime's prizes meant for enjoyment and modern convenience? Or has he maybe watched Fight Club a few too many times and will regret this most hasty of decisions about 5 minutes too late?

"The things you own end up owning you."
"If I could wake up at a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?"
"If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't."
"Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer... Maybe self-destruction is the answer."
"At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves."
"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."
"You're not your f*cking khakis."

Quote of the Day

Alexander Hamilton:

"I'm a virgo. That is why I know everything."

Meet Mojo

This is Mojo, one of the most animated, excitable, and needy dogs I have ever known. He is knows as:  Moj, Mojito, Mojo Man, Mojo-Jojo, Poopy (for reasons too obvious and horrifying to discuss), and Bobby (to honor his uncanny resemblance to a grown man).
I like how a bit of Marley is peeking through here, I just can't figure out which part of her is.  

Back to my point: I woke up this morning at around 6 am to Mojo getting busy on one of the loudest bones I've ever heard. I chalked it up to bad timing, and a heightened sense of hearing on my part due to the fact that I may not be the most gracious person to wake. I spent the next hour and a half covering my ears, rolling around, and wishing there was a soundproof room that either myself or Mojo could be locked into. When I finally decided to take his bone away at 7:30, I was fortunate enough to find all of my tupperware and chinese food containers were strewn on my bed, carpeting, and forming quite an impressive row down the hallway.

He proved to me that opposable thumbs are not needed to open a metal drawer and remove every single plastic item in that drawer.  I know, you're jealous!! Bobby's so talented.

Monday, April 7, 2008

My Boss...

The great Alexander Hamilton quote of the day:

"I don't go to Jersey restaurants. I'm not too cool, I'm too good."


Once upon this weekend, there was a dilapidated warehouse, and right in front of me were these window panes. A few hundred years past their prime. But probably doing their job at almost full capacity. I really love antiquated glass.

Friday, April 4, 2008


In what kind of sick and twisted world would Buffy The Vampire Slayer be ranked as better than The Sopranos?? I mean, come on!! 
And just in case that doesn't accrue quite as many as I would imagine:  In what kind of cruel and unusual world would Buffy The Vampire Slayer be ranked as the NUMBER TWO show of all time?
Really? At least they got something right.

Playing Catch-Up

I hung out with an old friend last week. You know, the kind who you end up speaking to so infrequently that all your conversations seem to start with, "What happened to that guy?" and "Hey, how'd that thing end up playing out?" Where your conversations merely highlight the major events. Where intricacies and emotion and those lovely day-to-day tidbits that interest and excite fall through the cracks of too much time to cover. These niceties especially hold true with this one particular friend. She is my kin, thinking alike, managing to come together when it really matters, and always somehow experiencing similar life lessons simultaneously. 

I learned of a healthy man who had been diagnosed of pancreatic cancer, and who passed away 8 days after his initial diagnosis. 
And my night stopped.
I vow to celebrate life in all its' mystifying reality. And more importantly, I will try again tomorrow.

"Old Friends" by the great Paul Simon and visionary Art Garfunkle pops into my head every time I see her. 

Thursday, April 3, 2008

They're Full Of It

I trust the good in people far too easily. And I doubt the word of authority the same. Reporters read lines off of prompts and control people's intake, reactions, and planning. And every once in a while, I think, "Hey, that's got to be totally made up."

Here's to everyone who has ever thought that our favorite news teams might, occasionally, be full of sh*t.

A sport I can get behind....

I need to iron out some kinks, straighten some things out, and I think my plans will be laid out quite nicely to participate in the newest and greatest of semi-physical activities. I think I will add some pressure, evenly distributed, to all of my friends, so we can press onward with a group sport.  It will be neat! We will be presentable. And I can certainly use a new board. Some may start out a little hard, but with some experience and heat, we can get out some stiffness in mere moments. The trick is not to get burned.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


The Trio

These are my three guys, Buddha, Buddha, and Buddha.  

Even though "they" (the Chinese and the Indian Buddha's I have) represent a faith slightly different from my own, they bring me peace visually. 

Actually, the little green guy always reminds me of my favorite Dalai Lama quote, "If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them."  So that's my mantra today. As I plan to meditate in front of my television.

Here are some other good Dalai Lama quotes.  Including one that I didn't even know I follow religiously, no pun intended:

"Sleep is the best meditation."

Amen, Buddha-men.

Believe it~

Have people never heard the term "Don't believe everything you read?" Or is it just something as meaningless as "Every cloud has a silver lining?" It is my dream to create a website with almost factual reportings. Either stories that are true, with at least one somewhat implausible addition, or a story that could be true, while it is not. And then, I want to see how long it would take until I get called out.  Investors anyone?

When it comes to written word, it's anyone's guess!

Here's my funny for the day:

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

It's April Fools' Day!

What is a harmless office prank if not something that escalates from mild frustration to out of control malice, murder, and yuck?  Some of my favorite, albeit impossible and grotesque, pranks have been:

1. Throwing a warmed Baby Ruth bar on the floor near a toilet.
2. Most of everything on here:  packing peanuts = murder

Mostly, everything funny about this day is summed up impressively well right here.



This is a key to my heart.  Or something hanging on the wall. If I had a key to my heart, this is what it would look like.