Here Marley was helping me drive. I let her call the shots, because as you can see, she was ravaged with allergies that weekend and lost some hair. Hair loss = blameless driving.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
About 15 years ago, my father and I were in his tiny apartment kitchen on 59th and 1st, and he was cupping a bagel in his palm, slicing downward, and he sliced into the flashy part of his palm. Notice I didn't say "sliced," but actually "sliced IN TO." That was my first memory of feeling like I was going to pass out. His hand was wide open and he walked past me into the bathroom. I followed, wondering if I was going to get the chance to make my first 911 call. What happened next became my second memory of feeling like I was going to pass out. He went into his medicine cabinet and pulled out crazy glue. I did say medicine cabinet, and not workshop drawer, yes. He ripped the cap off and just squeezed, in my opinion, an excessive amount of crazy glue into his open wound. At that point, any amount of glue would have been excessive to me, but it was a lot. And then he held it shut until it held itself in place.
Imagine all of that for a minute. I was sure I would have to call 911 then. "Hi, 911 operator, my father is passed out in the bathroom. He put crazy glue directly into his blood stream. No, I don't know what he was thinking. He may have been lightheaded from bagel-induced blood loss. Yes, I witnessed everything and said nothing to stop him."
As it turns out, the crazy glue did not poison his blood, he skipped the need for stitches, and his hand bears no scar today. To avoid any future accidents - because I don't know how well crazy glue reattaches fingers- I try and send him bagel safety instructions as I find them. I sent him this article yesterday: http://www.chow.com/blog/2009/12/beware-of-bagels/
Instead of a thank you, this is the response I get:
You may find this beyond your imagination but I actually READ that article the day it was printed in something called The Wall Street Journal. Its printed daily with relevant interesting articles relating to many topics often with a business slant.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
All over the place yesterday were links about a gun being drawn at a snowball fight, and I thought I would include a CNN.com video that is dripping with personal perspective. See video HERE. Short version: A DC detective's car got pelted with a snowball as he drove through a crowd of roughly 200 gathered people for an organized snowball fight. Incensed, he stopped short, parked his car in the middle of the intersection and came out with his gun drawn. Currently, there is an internal affairs investigation checking into details.
Merry Christmas, DC!
I always thought the days of a truly hearty laugh from Sesame Street were long behind me. Until Ricky Gervais decided to appear on Celebrity Lullabies with Elmo. (It even goes against my grain to say "Elmo" like he is a person.) Anyway, Ricky Gervais sings a lullaby to a grown man's fist covered in red cloth that squeaks. And I laughed.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
There's something about short videos that can really bring out the artist in people. Anyone can take some beautiful video, but only the truly creative can edit something really well. My friend's husband's video entry is called "I Run New York" and I'm really impressed!
And after all that jogging, I can sleep well tonight...
I feel like each time I take a step in the right direction of welcoming electronics from this decade into my home, my pride takes a hit. First, I got an automatic coffee maker (Thanks, Aunt Marilyn!), only to find out that the next thing in kitchen appliances is an HDTV refrigerator. My coffee triumph lived for mere moments.
After my ego repaired itself, I got wireless internet. To fully explain, it went in conjunction with a new computer that I desperately needed and put off for a long time. But after doing without for so long, a need became a luxury in its own right. And I was so excited for my new living room addition. UNTIL I heard about USB Furniture. That's right, folks. Couches that act as couches, device portals and memory devices. My couch remembers a few things of her own, but nothing that a memory can recall- just a sensitive nose. (Thanks, Marley's unsteady stomach.)
Me: “What is the meaning of life?”
W.E.: “The meaning of life is to stimulate the economy and to procreate. Because the more kids you have, the more you pay for them. Also, in theory, there would be no welfare, because everyone would have the same.”
W.E.: “I don’t know, you are older, you tell me!”
Monday, December 21, 2009
This week, I'll put up pictures that I took from my grandparent's balcony. I think that these represent the only good that has ever come of my grandma smoking cigarettes- when she called me outside to see the sun setting behind and against these buildings. This one is my favorite.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
This picture was taken on the fourth of July- about 6 months ago already! And I remember the shame of carrying my overgrown yorkie half a mile amongst throngs of people, as they gawked at me. I wanted to tell each person staring that he has sensitive paws and that my arms were shaking in pain and this was not an attempt to have a fashion accessory. But did I mention my arms were shaking? And I wasn't quite sure how long it would take to explain my dog's health issues to "throngs," so instead I half jogged back to my car while my friend Lauren got to walk Marley on a leash- like a dog. He doesn't seem too uncomfortable being carried in my arms as fireworks and strangers bombard him, though. If only that were a marketable skill...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
While Tristan and I were discussing going to my mother's Chanukah party:
Tristan: "I think I'm gonna wear all blue and white to your mom's."
Me: "You don't need to do that, nobody else does."
Tristan: "Well, I'm not really Jewish. So I need to cram the whole holiday into one party."
*9 year old logic is priceless.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Maybe I missed my calling in life, because these 20 Must Have Gifts For Journalists are probably way more appealing to me than I should admit.
Big Post-It note? Okay! Personalized Sharpie marker? What better way to "mark" my property? From retro weather magnets to an iphone I can actually write with to the best Control-Alt-Delete function I have ever dreamed of, I am accepting all journalistically themed gifts from here on. But if I see anyone suing a laptop steering wheel, I'll start walking.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
I took this as I was walking out of Whole Foods and almost dropped my bags in an effort to pull out my camera before, I don't know, the sky entirely vanished. I was ecstatic to get this shot, not because it's captured the sky so well, but because if these aren't The Simpsons clouds, then don't know what are. A few years ago, I had a pair of sunglasses which had slightly purple tinted lenses, and at least a couple of times a month, I would stop someone mid-sentence, point to the sky and say, "Do you see those Simpsons clouds?" And nobody ever did, as I learned slightly tinted lenses makes average skies look cartoonish. So this snapshot is a victory many years in the waiting. See? Simpsons!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The proof is in the digital imprint:
Tweets From Prison is self-explanatory. I think a most interesting enterprise could be creating some accounts and handing them off to out-of-touch prisoners. If there is such a thing anymore.
"Text Messages: Digital Lipstick on the Collar" For those wandering entrepreneurs out there, do I see a "Digital Dry Cleaners" in the future?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
So I was at my friend Ben's house this past weekend for what he has dubbed "Bensgiving." A day way too close to the actual Thanksgiving where friends can gather and have a less than traditional night of thanks. It's actually a great idea, so steal away, folks! More than a week's break from turkey would have been nice, but then the name might seem even more strange. Anyway, back to my point.. My entire life I have stood in awe as someone can use a carving knife, electronic or "real," and have that knife become an extension of their hand. It's probably as difficult for me to cut a clean piece of meat from a turkey as it would be for me to run 2 miles straight. (To put in perspective, it would be likening someone without shoes to climb Mount Everest.) Hard.
My way of carving a turkey is to pull pieces off manually. Because nothing works like a extention of my hand quite like my actual fingers. And this weekend, Ben did the same thing! I didn't tell him at the time, because I wanted to keep my excitement in proportion with the event and I didn't trust myself. After much thought, to not be alone in the world of neanderthal carving is definitely something to celebrate!
Leave it the the pro's, people! Here is Top Chef's Hosea Rosenberg teaching us all how to be civilized:
And here are some other pretty awesome kitchen tips: Whole Foods Market Holidays.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Expanding waistline? Or atrocious angle as she was exhaling? This is what "the camera adds 10 pounds" looks like on a 27 pound dog. There is one great thing about this picture though. Marley's awful belly makes it impossible for anyone to know that I lived with two light bulbs burnt out of my chandelier for weeks. Phew! Thanks dog food and dust balls!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Life in 2009:
Brian: “It’s raining.”
Alyssa: “It is?”
Brian: “Well, that’s what my Google background says.”
Aly: “My dashboard says it’s cloudy. I guess we’ll let the window be the tie-breaker.”
Alyssa: (Looking out the window…) “Yup, Google wins. It’s raining.”
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Newspapers, to me, have always held this magical intrigue. Like, how can someone have the patience to read that many word with a flimsy piece of paper that will not stand up straight for long and will rip and bleed all over your fingers? And talk about pressure! There is no book-marking allowed. You can't get tired and try and pick it up the next day, because it's no longer "news" at that point. And to people who choose their sections, I admire your trying. You don't read the newspaper, though. You try. And try as you might, you could very possibly always be reading the wrong section and you would never even know it.
I have fond memories of newspapers, though. My father's parents sitting in side-by-side beige crocheted chairs in their Florida living room. Reading glasses drifting to the tips of their noses and they seamlessly finished sections and traded them off. I was fascinated with their fluid movements, their voracious reading, their comfort in repetition- allowing the news to be the only changing piece of their ritual. I was never quite so fascinated with what they were reading, so I would sit on the floor and read a chapter of a book, jump on the couch facing them, read another one. Go out onto their terrace and read another while constantly peering at them though their sliding glass door. Back then, I thought I was anxiously awaiting movement because that meant Pool! or Movie! or Lunch! But now I think that I was mesmerized by their routine and their love of it and their love of one another.
And I may have just discovered some uses for incorporating some News Print back into my life. Here are 15 Uses and Reasons for News Print. My favorites include Recession Wallpaper, Burn For Warmth and Wrap A Present. Maybe the internet can't solve everything....