Snapshot

Here Marley was helping me drive. I let her call the shots, because as you can see, she was ravaged with allergies that weekend and lost some hair. Hair loss = blameless driving.

Quote Of The Day

Alex: “The one thing about the Jewish religion is that there is no hell, so you make life on Earth hell. Everything is miserable.”

Gossip Guy

About 15 years ago, my father and I were in his tiny apartment kitchen on 59th and 1st, and he was cupping a bagel in his palm, slicing downward, and he sliced into the flashy part of his palm. Notice I didn't say "sliced," but actually "sliced IN TO." That was my first memory of feeling like I was going to pass out. His hand was wide open and he walked past me into the bathroom. I followed, wondering if I was going to get the chance to make my first 911 call. What happened next became my second memory of feeling like I was going to pass out. He went into his medicine cabinet and pulled out crazy glue. I did say medicine cabinet, and not workshop drawer, yes. He ripped the cap off and just squeezed, in my opinion, an excessive amount of crazy glue into his open wound. At that point, any amount of glue would have been excessive to me, but it was a lot. And then he held it shut until it held itself in place.

Imagine all of that for a minute. I was sure I would have to call 911 then. "Hi, 911 operator, my father is passed out in the bathroom. He put crazy glue directly into his blood stream. No, I don't know what he was thinking. He may have been lightheaded from bagel-induced blood loss. Yes, I witnessed everything and said nothing to stop him."

As it turns out, the crazy glue did not poison his blood, he skipped the need for stitches, and his hand bears no scar today. To avoid any future accidents - because I don't know how well crazy glue reattaches fingers- I try and send him bagel safety instructions as I find them. I sent him this article yesterday: http://www.chow.com/blog/2009/12/beware-of-bagels/

Instead of a thank you, this is the response I get:

You may find this beyond your imagination but I actually READ that article the day it was printed in something called The Wall Street Journal. Its printed daily with relevant interesting articles relating to many topics often with a business slant.
Xoxo,
Dad

Snapshot

The sky here reminded me of zones in a farm from overhead. I love how the clouds made "sky striations" and became an extension of the ground so fluidly. There's no shot of whiskey that can be as calming to me anymore.

Quote Of The Day

Michelle: "Oh G-d! What are you listening to? This is awful!"

Me: "It's the Twilight soundtrack."

Michelle: "Hmmm, I probably like it then. Okay."

Fight Snowballs With Lead Bullets

All over the place yesterday were links about a gun being drawn at a snowball fight, and I thought I would include a CNN.com video that is dripping with personal perspective. See video HERE. Short version: A DC detective's car got pelted with a snowball as he drove through a crowd of roughly 200 gathered people for an organized snowball fight. Incensed, he stopped short, parked his car in the middle of the intersection and came out with his gun drawn. Currently, there is an internal affairs investigation checking into details.

Merry Christmas, DC!

Ricky Gervais Sings A Lullaby

I always thought the days of a truly hearty laugh from Sesame Street were long behind me. Until Ricky Gervais decided to appear on Celebrity Lullabies with Elmo. (It even goes against my grain to say "Elmo" like he is a person.) Anyway, Ricky Gervais sings a lullaby to a grown man's fist covered in red cloth that squeaks. And I laughed.

Snapshot

In my imaginary dream home, I would like to have a bedroom ceiling that turned to this when the lights went out.

Quote Of The Day

A.L.: "I'm just nice, what can I say?"

A.H.: "Some say there's a fine line between nice and stupid."

Your Day In 140 Seconds Or Less

There's something about short videos that can really bring out the artist in people. Anyone can take some beautiful video, but only the truly creative can edit something really well. My friend's husband's video entry is called "I Run New York" and I'm really impressed!

And after all that jogging, I can sleep well tonight...

Behind The Times

I feel like each time I take a step in the right direction of welcoming electronics from this decade into my home, my pride takes a hit. First, I got an automatic coffee maker (Thanks, Aunt Marilyn!), only to find out that the next thing in kitchen appliances is an HDTV refrigerator. My coffee triumph lived for mere moments.

After my ego repaired itself, I got wireless internet. To fully explain, it went in conjunction with a new computer that I desperately needed and put off for a long time. But after doing without for so long, a need became a luxury in its own right. And I was so excited for my new living room addition. UNTIL I heard about USB Furniture. That's right, folks. Couches that act as couches, device portals and memory devices. My couch remembers a few things of her own, but nothing that a memory can recall- just a sensitive nose. (Thanks, Marley's unsteady stomach.)

Snapshot

Facing south as the sun goes down.

Quote Of The Day

Me: “What is the meaning of life?”

W.E.: “The meaning of life is to stimulate the economy and to procreate. Because the more kids you have, the more you pay for them. Also, in theory, there would be no welfare, because everyone would have the same.”

Me: “What!?!?”

W.E.: “I don’t know, you are older, you tell me!”

Snapshot

This week, I'll put up pictures that I took from my grandparent's balcony. I think that these represent the only good that has ever come of my grandma smoking cigarettes- when she called me outside to see the sun setting behind and against these buildings. This one is my favorite.

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “You’re definitely Mo.”

Aly: “I'm not worried, because Mo backwards is a meditation.”

Snapshot

This is my kind of deer head!

Quote Of The Day

Julia: “I love talking to those ignorant religious freaks, ‘cuz it makes my blood boil and then I feel alive.”

Snapshot

This picture was taken on the fourth of July- about 6 months ago already! And I remember the shame of carrying my overgrown yorkie half a mile amongst throngs of people, as they gawked at me. I wanted to tell each person staring that he has sensitive paws and that my arms were shaking in pain and this was not an attempt to have a fashion accessory. But did I mention my arms were shaking? And I wasn't quite sure how long it would take to explain my dog's health issues to "throngs," so instead I half jogged back to my car while my friend Lauren got to walk Marley on a leash- like a dog. He doesn't seem too uncomfortable being carried in my arms as fireworks and strangers bombard him, though. If only that were a marketable skill...

Quote Of The Day

A post break-up conversation:

Robby R.: “Gotta swap portable hard drives with her at some point.”

Me: “Ah, the swapping of portable hard drives. Life and love in 2009.”

Snapshot

It's a tough life, but somebody's got to do it.