I have been so busy doing everything and nothing. Feeling accomplished and unproductive and exhausted and exuberant. I feel like I had this vision of my life, and it was pretty. Sunlight would come in and change the appearance slightly, and then shadows would creep in, adding new dimensions. But then someone came by and pushed the tip of this imaginary kaleidoscope spinning end thingamajig and that pretty little picture is forever shattered.
It's okay, things change and you are to embrace the moment and appreciate the beauty in all things. I'm at a point now that I can, and I really am. It's just that I keep spinning the end of this tube of mirrors, and no matter how many times it goes around, that original image is gone. Thankfully, there are days that look even better, to counter the days that I don't want to look through the looking glass. There are days that the sunlight pours into. So here I am, embracing forced change, joining too many people in this country that are currently looking for work. And I am spinning this kaleidoscope even when I don't want to. Even when the beads are perfectly aligned and breathtaking, I am shaking things up. Because if I can learn to rely on the constant of change, then I can keep letting the light in.
This was my only reprieve from being stuck inside in Edgewater ALL DAY LONG. Did I have food and water? Yes. Heat? Yes. Did that matter at all? Forced to stay inside, and the one time I did brave the storm with the dogs, my comforter became trash. Will explain more later.
My mother on the right, her best friend on the left. I just found this picture of their cruise last month and I thought it was adorable. Now, I am on the hunt for much older photos... Since I'm snowed in, that shouldn't be too difficult.
To those of you who don't know me, or more specifically, my dogs, this photo might seems disgustingly sweet. Two adoring dogs, gazing gently at me. I have decided to de-shrowd any misconceptions right here and right now: Both Marley and Mojo are wildy obsessed with lip gloss. While other puppies might chew on wires or sneakers or chocolate bars, both of my dogs at different times sought out chapsticks (flavored or not), lipstick, lip gloss, vaseline and anything else that was waxy and toying the line between edible and not. Price didn't matter. They consumed $14 dollar lipstick tubes as wholeheartedly as they embraced $0.69 containers of cocoa butter. A personal concession has been skipping the lip fringe. And when I forget, they remind me. Above, I am smiling, but right below the frame, I am grasping them both and holding them away from my lips. It's not worth the shine.
