Monday, February 13, 2012

The Health Chronicles

2012 is now, what? Forty four days underway? I just want to know why it feels like a mere 10,000 days. I feel like it has been one disaster after another, and I am holding on to hope that all of the crap needs to get out of the way for all of the good to start. But if I make it to six months in before things change, we are talking about EPIC good in order for this year not to suck.

In an effort to not make you pour a glass and drown in my sorrows, I will avoid even mentioning my personal life. Or my professional life. Or my life. I will stick to the meidcal anomolies that have already plagued me and those around me.

My downstairs neighbors: severe three week lice infestation. My friend's one year old: emergency hospitalization for severe asthma and lung infection. My other friend's newborn: chest cold and difficulty breathing. My aunt: complete back pain, temporarily forced to use a walker to move at all- in her early 50's. And myself? A stomach virus that caused lower back pain, pulled stomach muscles and deydration that latched onto my cells and wouldn't let go. I have had a pinched nerve in the back of my left thigh for two weeks that ranges from dull and achy to air gasping with jolts through my calf. At the moment, my right eye is twitching, but I can only hope that it's from recalling the past 44 days. I had bronchitis that lasted for two weeks. It was no biggie. I just needed an at home steroidal nebulizer to open my screaming lungs enough to take a deep breath. The other details, I will take to my grave. What else...

Oh, right- I have determined that I am newly lactose intolerant. That's been a fun trial and eroor and error and error.... and error. Also, my body has sensed this new year coming and has decided to plague me with food sensitivities that I have never known. Any processed carb on the planet? Severe heartburn. Anything greasy at all? May as well be a large glass of milk. And, what I am struggling to determine at this very moment.... Was I bitten by bed bugs when I was in a Boston hotel two weeks ago?

Whjat started out as three hives that showed up on my hand while I was at my firends home with cats a couple of nights ago have not gone away. They are itchy. And the usual allergy concoction has not helped them subside. Anti-itch cream provides complete bliss for 14 seconds tops. And so I hit up my best friend and arch-nemesis, Google Images. And I am torn. My bites or hives or inflamed new hand additions don't look anything like bed bug bites that Google Images provided me. But let's be real: Google Images exists only to terrify me into leading a purely Amish existence. So, anyway, here I am taking a tentative sigh of relief, and then I click the tab for just information, not only images, and I come to find that bites are found on the hands, feet and face most commonly. And they show up 9 to 14 days after you are bitten. Precisely when I was at this hotel that fooled me with granite countertops. And they are found in groups of three. Some article mentioned that this represented breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Really? THEY can eat a three course meal off of the person who can't? So now I am panicked. In the mirror checking every bump on my face. There are two small bumps on my foot. Panic hives? Bug bites? I have no idea. The three on my hand are screaming at me right now. Another 44 days like this, and I will be screaming back.

1 comment:

Suzie Thomas said...
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