Quote of the Day

Maury: “Prejudice is so ‘80’s.”

Me: “Yeah, thank G-d we live in 2009 where there is no such thing as prejudice!”

A Pic A Day For Baby's First Year

People often ask me why I don't entirely get rid of my AOL account. It's sooooo 1996! And they are right. But does gmail give me sometimes random and useless "news" tidbits? I can never leave you, AOL. My devotion to you is as steadfast as your devotion to your current format. Which leads me to this very cute 2 minute video of a baby's life, through one snapshot a day, in his first year. If this isn't the first thing everyone wants to see when they wake up, then, ummm, maybe they have more going on in their homes than I do.

Snapshot

This is one of more self-explanatory snapshots. Is it weird that when I saw it, I thought: "That's the cutest thing I've seen in a month?"

Quote of the Day

Alex: “Eating veal to me is like cheating on your wife and having it be not good.”

The 100 Best Movie Lines...

...In only 200 seconds!

"You can't handle the truth."

Snapshot

This bush I found on a walk along the Hudson River, and I was struck by how it was literally uprooting itself to lean closer to the water. Interestingly enough, for half of this weekend, I felt exactly the same way! My body woke up against my will to chug a glass of water in a half stumbling sleep, as my sunburn knew no mercy.

Quote of the Day

Alex: “Yeah, you learn something new everyday… At least from me!”

Thinking....

I am thinking that the only thing worse than my new friend, Bright Red Painful Sunburn, is the women at this party looking at me saying, "Aaawwwwwwww, you poor thing!"

Now, I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate the concern. I do. But the Aaawwwwwww- with all of those extra syllables, they are more than just some emphasis. Someone just gave me an "Aaaawww" that lasted about 20 seconds. Please say this outloud to yourself and hold the count for twenty seconds. See? It's just uncomfortable, lady!

So, I moved away, towards my little cousin, Joey, thinking I could get a reprieve from my sunburn being the topic of conversation. Because, after all, I need no reminding with the searing thighs of fire blazing into my pants.

Joey: "You should really watch yourself. That burn you have there, that is definitely going to give you cancer."

Happy birthday, Joey!

P.S.: I had on waterproof 55 SPF on my body, and SPF 85 on my face, but I guess my fourteen year old cousin knows more than Aveno.

Snapshots

And now, the moment I have been anxiously awaiting all.week.long:

Where I get to show the world that my mother and dogter look alike!

Quote of the Day

Overheard...

Him: "How many electoral votes does Rhode Island have?"

Her: "I don't know."

Him: "Right, so shut up."

Commercial Time

A friend of mine sent me a link to the Top Most Racist Commercials . (Courtesy of Flumesday.) Before I actually looked through the videos, I thought that I would pass them along to all of you, but then, I watched a few of them. I am so sick of "racist" being funny, when there is nothing particularly humorous involved.

So, in the vain of trying to steer today into a clean, happy, loving environment, I thought I would hippie us all out with a Lollapalooza 2009 commercial. Do I want to see Tool, The Killers, Vampire Weekend, Jane's Addiction, and Kings of Leon? YES! Am I way, way too unmotivated to get my ass over to Chicago this weekend to see it? YES! Thank gooooodness I am not too unmotivated to sit on my couch in front of my TV. I love how modern day conveniences can make me feel as if I am ever actually accomplishing something.

And to be a total bitch about this show, why is Snoop Dogg performing in the show? He has no relevance whatsoever, and all of these HIPPIE SUMMER concerts keep allowing him to waste time. SIGH. NOW I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PUT SOME EFFORT FORTH AND FAST FORWARD! Damn you, Snoopy the Dog rapper face. A few interviews if it's your thang:

Kings Of Leon

Airborne Toxic

Coheed & Cambria

Silversun Pickups

Snapshot

While this may not be the most flattering pose, it's a Marley favorite position.

Quote of the Day

Jordan: “What is that? Elephantitis? That's a thing, you know…”

Snapshot

"This car ride is wiping me out! It's hard work surfing on grandma's lap instead of laying on the cozy dog bed they made for me on the floor. Don't they know by now that I prefer my dog bed to be made on a lap? How slow are these people?"

Quote of the Day

"This here is a run out the plot situation."

Meat Cards

I wish I was making this up, but "These business cards have 2 ingredients. Meat and lasers."

Meat Cards.

Snapshot

You know you've failed as a mother when your daughter has no interest in entertainment magazines. They're called "entertainment" for a reason, Marley!

Quote of the Day

A.L.: “Would you like a sugar free rice pudding by jello?”

A.H.: “No, that’s disgusting. That is processed and it kills you in a year.... But thanks for offering.”

Snapshot

Can You Hold Me Closer?

Each day this week, I am going to be sharing a photo of my mother with Marley from our weekend away in the Poconos. On Friday, there are two pictures to share, both in which my puppy and my mother resemble each other strongly. Not to worry! They are great pictures. Because anyone who can look so regal and distinguished and classy as my dog should feel honored. I kid. But seriously, I can only get away with this, because my mother and computers don't mesh. My mother and technology don't mesh. She can only speak on speaker phone with her cell phone, her idea of savvy internet browsing is successfully signing into her AOL account, and her home computer's been broken for about ten years and she still doesn't know.

It's a good thing she can pull off the "Marley," or I'd have some serious concerns.

Quote of the Day

Me: “You wanna come to the gym with me in the morning?”

Jordan: “I can't. You go way too early.”

Me: “It’s great. No one’s there.”

Jordan: “Well, I like the audience. What can I say?”