Phone Frustrations

Mom: "Hello?"

Me: "Hi! How are you? Did you get the mail yet today?"

Mom: "What? I can't hear you at all. And no, I didn't get the mail yet today."

Me: "Ah, okay. Did you get a yellow and blue envelope addressed to me at all from this weekend?"

Mom: "Speak up or text me. I didn't get the mail yet today."

Me: "Okay fine."

Mom: "What is yellow and blue that you are getting?"

Me: "I thought you couldn't hear me."

Mom: "What? I can't hear you."

Me: "This is fun. I will call you later."

Mom: "What? You're not going to tell me what I will see later? How about I call you when I get the mail later? Just tell me what it is."

Me: "A surprise. I will call you later."

Mom: "Okay, call me later. I can't hear you."


Two things were going through my head. The first? My mother is under the impression that she is going deaf. And also, is ninety two years old. The second? She really misuses the term, 'I can't hear you.'