Carrie's Rock!

From some crazed and clearly deranged lunatic:

THEY ARE ACHING ME

Good Lord Almighty. I just crossed my arms over my chest for a second while I was talking to someone and I had to hold in a grimace. Judging from this pain, I should be getting my period soon. Or maybe, I am about to give birth to a rabid satanic creature so my body is preparing by killing every nerve ending and pain receptor in my chest so that when this being feeds on me, I won't die of pain- just blood loss- except the only way to deaden these nerves are apparently by reaching new and maximum heights of pain.

I can't imagine what I would be like if I were dramatic!!! I guess I'll never breastfeed!


And the most appropriate response you can imagine:

When we were at school our games were simple
I played the janitor you played a monitor
Then you played with older boys and prefects
What's the attraction in what they're doing?

(Chorus)
Hey Carrie Anne What's your game now
Can anybody play
Hey Carrie Anne
What's your game now
Can anybody play

You're always something special to me
Quite independent never caring
You lost your charm as you were aging
Where is your magic dissappearing

Chorus

You're so, so like a woman to me
so like a woman to me
So, so like a woman to me
So like a woman to me

Chorus

People live and learn
But you're still learning
You use my mind and I'll be your teacher
When the lesson's over you'll be with me
Then I'll hear the other people saying

Hey Carrie Anne
What's your game now
Can anybody play
Hey Carrie Anne
What's your game now
Can anybody play

Runners' Up:

Second Place: Hmm. Pregnant. I think I am, too.
Third Place: I will not babysit.