Two Real Questions In Life

From my Aunt Leslie, sharing with me life's only two questions:

1) Should I get a dog?

2) Should I have a kid?

This reminds me of this time about 2 years ago, where I walked in to my couch shredded and white fluff covered every inch of my entrance and living room. And Marley, the perpetrator of destruction and all things costing me large amounts of money, was hiding in the corner. She couldn't have looked guiltier than if she had been O.J. himself, slipping on his murder glove in front of witnesses. Mojo, on the other hand, was sitting dead smack in the middle of the largest tear, with white stuff knotted around his face, completely oblivious to any yelling coming his way, because it was his sister that had done it all. My reaction? I laughed. I laughed as I picked up white stuff and as I was removing it from his fur. I laughed as Marley tentatively creeped out from her hiding position. A friend thought I was laughing, because I was looking to buy a new couch at that point anyway. But that wasn't it. There are times in your life where you either laugh, or you shoot yourself in the face with a rifle in your mouth as you jump off of a bridge into shark infested water. And I was too tired to look for sharks.

I think the only real question becomes: Is your couch or your TV more expensive?