This weekend, I ventured out to a movie theater.
Thought I'd let you catch your breath for a moment. Yes, that place where normal people go to watch movies. My DVR has obviously made me abnormal. Thanks to fast forwarding, I no longer see movie trailers, I no longer catch a clip, or see people really ever speaking about a movie. Therefore, the only way I have any desire to see a movie is through word of mouth. And even with that ever powerful marketing ploy of friends and family, I have a DVR. On that fine piece of machinery, there is an ever-growing list of approved and desired TV. With a movie, especially one I have only heard about through word of mouth, there is a chance it is something I don't actually want to see. On my DVR, there is a 100% chance that I will be watching something that I do want to see. Follow the odds? Because for the past couple of years, the odds are I am sitting on my couch with the dogs and a pause button and sometimes friends and family, all with no out of pocket cost.
So when my cousins and I entered this dingy, dank movie theater in New City on Saturday, everyone was disappointed with the screen size, and I was jittery with excitement. I was sitting in a chair! And it smelled like popcorn and something strange! And there were no dogs blocking my view as they stare bizarrely into my face for hours at a time!
Everything was lined up beautifully, and then the atrocity that is Bruno began. After seeing Borat, I knew to expect shocking, over-the-top sub-humor. And even those expectations were miles too high. The movie was bad, with a few funny lines or actions, but mostly, it was uncomfortable and sexual and bizarre. So much so that I now have to go see another movie, so that my last movie experience will never be that.