Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bing Bing Bing

Bing is a new competitor to And it seems to be exactly the same as far as search results and formatting goes, except their home page is welcoming, calling to me to earn a trillion dollars, but a mansion on a lake, learn how to sail, pay someone to fill in for me on said sailboat because I get motion sickness, and search the internet as I used to, back in the days of ever so plain Google.

I had no idea that anyone was brazen enough to take on that little box in the top right hand corner of my open browser. I didn't know this, because I don't watch TV commercials. And it's not that I don't enjoy commercials, I do. It's just that the reality shit that I waste my personal time consuming set up these impossible cliffhangers before each commercial break, and I lack all impulse control to sit and wait the three minutes for the show to resume. (Also, I have too much to clean off of my DVR to risk wasting three additional minutes of awake time to something not specifically chosen to be viewed.) Feel bad for me, because I am not kidding.

To quote my friend, AKA the informant, AKA the guy who reacted negatively when I mentioned I needed to quote him on my blog:

Strangely Secretive:
And they're advertising that it's not a search engine, it's a decision engine. So someone asks a question like "Do you sell oil filters here?" And the person behind the desk says "air filters, filter fresh, fresh step cat litter, cat's pajamas, pajama party," and then a kid in a classroom asks "Will this be on the test?" and the teacher says "test tubes, tubular dude, dude ranch, ranch dressing, salad spinner." And they go on like that for a while and then they say "Why search, when you can decide?" So Google spends about $100m in advertising per year -- Bing has spent $100m in advertising in the last 60 days. There was an article in the New York Times that they reassigned 400 software engineers at google to immediately improve searching to compete with Bing.
Honestly, why do I need to watch commercials when I have such an amazing recap giver?

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