I Thought Brazil Was Heavenly...

Everything about Brazil had always appealed to me: gorgeous beaches and tropical weather and a laid back lifestyle. Until two or three years ago, when I saw a horrifying expose on TV about parasites caught while people vacationed and traveled through South America. There was more than one instance of parasites infecting a person while they were in Brazil. To the woman who ate slightly uncooked fish because she was too lazy to go back to the fire and finish her meal, maybe a stomach bug, literally, shouldn't have been too shocking. To the man who bathed in some river or lake, and then twenty years later saw a small wriggle swim across his eye only to find out that he had microscopic parasites swimming freely all around his body since his fateful "vacation." Eyeballs, bugs- Brazil is quickly losing it's appeal.

Then there's the waxing. And I think the general superficiality of the common Brazilian is shocking. You think Beverly Hills is bad? Try Rio! I read that people spend more money on plastic surgery treatments there than anywhere else in the world. It's a shame. That cosmetic expertise could have been better applied here or here.

And lastly, the Brazilian Keratin Treatment, commonly referred to as BKT, is what I just underwent. It's not that I don't like curly hair, it's that my curls are so tight that when dry, the curls lock into one another and form this solid structure of hair that reminds me of a bad cartoon mom. Think Didi from the Rugrats, but upside-down. The results look great, so far, but not being able to put in a hair tie, or a clip, or a drop of water or styling product is starting to wear thin. Not to mention the process itself. I won't go into the sharper pain details, because the crown of my scalp is incredibly sensitive, so therefore, a singular experience. But the burning of openings on my face!! Whoa! My hairdresser warned me to keep my eyes closed. And like a child to flame, I kept my hand over the fire until I knew what kind of "burning" he meant. To clarify, he meant the kind that goes from zero to ninety nine in .121 seconds. The involuntary tears rejecting the burning from my body stopped- after five hours. And we took a number of breaks due to "dead ass" syndrome. But the worst? The burning up my nostrils and down my throat as I breathed when mother nature took her vengeance out on me and didn't shoot the breeze for a few minutes here and there throughout. Here's to hoping that by using the proper and expensive shampoo, and holding off on the initial shower as long as my loved ones will allow me to, that this will last longer than I hope it will.

*Note: If you are considering this treatment, bring a fan and keep it directly in front of your face, and it will be a pleasure.