DVRA

It's been a long time coming, and while AA has a better ring to it, DVRA will have to do. But this isn't anonymous, so in this case, it stands for Digital Video Recording Addict. I have known for quite some time that I have a problem, but like most addicts, I shoved it deep down in an attempt to deny this glaring truth. But there were warning signs!

A few warning signs that stick out in my mind: When I started getting insanely impatient about 15 seconds into a commercial break at a house that didn't have DVR. I have been so accustomed to fast forwarding through that major economy driver, that seeing a commercial was absurd. There was a sad moment that I am only disclosing in an effort to cleanse myself of this habit... After I had come back from a long weekend, my DVR was pretty full, and older shows that I hadn't watched yet were going to be erased to be recorded over by newer shows. And so I spent some time watching old episodes of ER in the slowest fast forward setting that there is, so that I could cut the forty minutes normally spent re-watching the episodes down to about eight minutes. And since I already knew these episodes from when they first aired, and multiple times on reruns over the years, I could follow the shows fairly well this way. I knew this was a low point and continued for hours. And most recently, I have been staying in on Saturdays- skipping the gym and walks with the dogs. Forgoing Christmas shopping and meeting up with friends. And why? Because I have to clear out my DVR. I don't even think of television shows as shows anymore, but actually a chore that I have to get out of the way before I can do things I want to do. If that wasn't sad enough, I wind up being a hamster in a wheel running in circles, because I tape entirely too many things.

I started reading Twilight, also known as a mix between heroin and crack only dissolvable in your body as your eyes soak in the words. And I want to spend time reading, but I choose to spend my time trying to play catch up on this device that I thought cost me ten dollars a month, but I have learned also costs me my social life.

Change is mandated. And I have enrolled Julia as my sponsor in this sure to be difficult and exciting road ahead of me to re-enter society. When she learned the magnitude of my addictions she said, "TV's supposed to release you from reality, not remove you from it." And I am proud to announce that I completed both tasks that she gave to me as homework. 1. I stopped recording all old episodes of ER. That one was a doozy, really! I deselected it, then panicked and called my brother so he could call me a freak, so I could really stick with my decision. I told him I want to fill my mind with new ideas and people, and after the panic wore off, I really did feel lighter. 2. I wrote down, in order, every single thing that I have set to record. Thankfully, seasons don't always overlap, so it has been possible to record all of these.

I suppose I will write down that list here later or tomorrow, if for no other reason than to look back at this when time is running out and remember how much time I wasted.

Goodbye, old ER.