Monday, September 29, 2008

John McClane


I have a suggestion for the Republican Party: Vote John McClane.  He has a lot of qualities that I believe are revered in this 2008 election, so far. These are from the website:

"Why Not? John McClane is a Badass. He's an American. He doesn't take shit from terrorists. He smokes. He crawls through air conditioning ducts. He's a lover AND a fighter. So, shouldn't we, The United States of America, have someone like John McClane in office? He would be the perfect leader of the free world. He would bitch-slap everyone that pisses him off. He won't lie to our faces, he'll tell it like it is. He wears his heart upon his sleeve, when he's wearing sleeves. He's not afraid of a little blood. Whether it's his or a shitty terrorist's. He has a squinty seriousness about him. He's got a tattoo, too. Yeah, he's a goddamn American and he's goddamn proud of it. America needs John McClane. So, citizens of the free world... rise up and embrace the future of America. John McClane. He takes shit from no one. Ever."

And these I thought up all on my own:

-He is pro-guns, and excessively uses them to attack who he perceives to be the "bad guy."
-He is enormously unqualified.
-He has fought people who have been born in other countries, which obviously makes him highly experienced with foreign affairs.
-He may or may not have pregnant teenagers.

So, if Sarah Palin accidentally shoots herself while hunting for elk, or at any point, realizes she is so far over her head that she is quickly becoming the biggest joke to ever enter politics in the entire history of the United States, and she receded from her position, imagine the possibilities...

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