"25 Things Vanishing From America"

I found an article, really a 27 page spread, on 25 things vanishing from America. As a quicker summary, here they are on one page:

25. Pit Toilets- Out houses. They'll be sorely missed, by the open sores caused by using such an unnecessarily primitive toilet.

24. Yellow Pages- While I may have not even thought to use the Yellow Pages as anything more than a furniture leveler in a long time, I once wished I could get to it when i locked myself out and had to use 411 instead. Ironic.

23. Classified Ads- There's something a little more formal about "taking an ad out" vs. posting an ad online. And, gasp, does this mean they will charge for Craigslist?

22. Movie Rental Stores- No, really? Who would have thought that keeping your prices as it while a much more generously priced competitor offers better service would have been a bad business model? Oh, anyone who actually thought about it.

21. Dial-Up Internet Access- This can only be good. Now, I can know that it doesn't matter where I am connecting to the internet, I won't be hearing a dial tone.

20. Phone Landlines- Hopefully, this will afford service providers to get towers where they need to be so dead zones are, um, dead.

19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs- Animal extinction scares me. Period. So why not put a ban on fishing for these blue crabs for even one damn summer and give them a chance to heal their ecosystem?

18. VCR's- Are you telling me that these have not already vanished? I can just see children getting ahold of VHS tapes and ripping them to shreds. Jump ropes, dental floss, wedding gown dress-up, a new world of possibility can emerge.

17. Ash Trees- So, we know which bug is killing these trees, and we haven't made bigger efforts to kill the bug? 

16. Ham Radio- I'm thinking that as long as both hand and radio are left intact, not a soul cares.

15. Swimming Holes- I like the idea of allowing people to come swim in little swimming holes across the country. So instead of "No Trespassing" signs to avoid being sued, I'm going to start a petition to put up signs saying "No Liability Swimming." That should be good for all them there readers of words and stuff.

14. Answering Machines- Maybe someone will think of an at home answering machine to be synched up to your cell phone. I don't want it, but maybe people sick of hearing the same prompts and putting in security codes might appreciate a push of a button.

13. Cameras With Film- I finally made the transition. So I'm ready. Bye bye.

12. Incandescent Bulbs- Their replacements looks the same, act better, last longer, and are more efficient. Deal.

11. Stand Alone Bowling Alleys- I can't see bowling at an arcade even coming close to being the same experience. 

10. The Milkman- Um, is it just me or have they been LONG gone?

9. Hand-Written Letters- You can't take this away from meeeeeeeee......

8. Wild Horses-  This made me sad. I have this vision of horseback riding through Wyoming and meeting up with Wild Horses and that just becomes an unrealistic thought once you factor in a lack of Wild Horses.

7. Personal Checks- Are you saying you're too good for my checks? I buy checks to support breast cancer. Taking them away, that's like being pro-breast cancer. Tacky.

6. Drive-In Theaters- There is one that I go to every year, so maybe I should go more often if it's on its' way out.

5. Mumps and Measles- Mumps and Measles are already out. Let's stop rolling around in past glory and work on things like HIV and paralysis. Gosh!

4. Honey Bees- I am so torn on this one! On one hand, I don't want farmers to be out of work. On the other hand and two feet, I don't like honey and I really hate bees.

3. News Magazines and TV News- I feel like a major contributor to this passing fad. I'm sorry. When I want to unwind, I don't want to hear about tragedy, loss, and things to fear.

2. Analog TV- Who will miss this?

1. The Family Farm- Whatever, your list can't break my dreams! I will have my own farm, and no, it will not compete or sell anything, just self-sustaining, green, and featuring indoor plumbing.