Snapshot

Oh, how he taunts her! Or, I guess I should say, every person who has food, drink, something plastic wrapper-like on them, or has eaten food in the past 48 hours taunts her. Poor thing.

Quote of the Day

Julia: “I just wanna kick you in the shins. Kapow!!”

Alex: “Oh, you can reach? That’s good!”

Snapshot

R.I.P. Binghampton

Having moved nine months ago, I thought it was time to go eat somewhere local. And what better place to go than to the boat restaurant literally at the bottom of my hill. Perfect. I took the dogs down for a stroll to note how busy a weekday night is, and if I should bother making reservations, or just walk-in.

Apparently, none of my neighbors had the same inclination to support local restaurants. It took all I had not to climb over the "Do Not Enter" barrier, and peek inside. If I didn't think there was a high likelihood of getting near rats, the picture above would have been a lot closer up.

Quote of the Day

Alex: “I am hope springs eternal. You are the chasm of despair; don't even get me started.”

Snapshot

.... ha. haha. ha.

Quote of the Day

Jordan: "I think I'm eating bad turkey on molded bread. They even each other out, right? And if I put enough mustard on it, it's all gravy."

Snapshot

I know everything's bigger and better in the Hamptons, Dad. But, seriously, you've proven your yards bushes can grow taller than your house, taller than your trees. Enough's enough.

Quote of the Day

Renee: “That car is a gas.. a gasss.. a gazz.. a gazz gussler”

My little Moroccan grandma may get caught up on the small words, but she can crossword a puzzle better than any "English Is My First Language" opponent.

Snapshot

Crushing my ribs...

Quote of the Day

Telemarketer: "Hi. I'm calling regarding your taxes."

Me: "I'm not interested."

Telemarketer: "I am not selling anything, this is directly in regards to your taxes."

Me: "Are you the government? Or in any way affiliated with the government?"

Telemarketer: " I AM BASED ON THE GOVERNMENT."

Me: "What does that mean?"

Telemarketer: "Being based on the government is real."

Heart Beating?

"Lady" Gaga has worked with Monster Beats to launch "her" own headphones, called Heartbearts. I'm kind of torn on whether or not I think "her" vision works, though, because I generally hate in-ear headphones. I am more of the 1994, oversized, sound blocking clunkers where nobody could strike up a conversation with me mistakenly thinking that I was not at that moment listening to headphones. But hers, they glitter! And it is a Monster product, which means that the sound quality has to kick my Sony's ten year old ass. AND, they have some bling... So, yeah, I am totally trying to win a pair here:

Contest To Win

Monster is also launching a 30-day Heartbeats Giveaway on Facebook! And it’s not 1 pair over 30 days; they're giving away 30 pairs of Heartbeats by Lady Gaga High Performance In-Ear Headphones in 30 days!

And as an aside, please not the size of Dr Dre's upper body! His legs and waist seem to hit where everyone else's does, and then from there up, he is a giant! (I think he would look really awkward wearing those headphones.)

Snapshot

A little beer makes everything better- err- blurry.

Quote of the Day

Me: “What’s up with everyone going to 'Sushi Cruise' every day this week?”

Brian: “It’s an hour of happy fun time!”

Snapshot

I found this sign on the side of the road in the middle of nowheresville, PA and it shocked me. Not because someone actually drove out here to let drivers know the chances were either high or low for forest fires. This shocked me because it was raining really heavily that day. And I believe it was Smoky The Bear himself who taught me water combats fire.

And, also, common sense.

Quote of the Day

Jordan: "I'm gonna get 3 steaks, 4 baked potatos and then, then.... ummmm- Like 6 more things!"

Snapshots

"Ummm, I wiped. So can you please let me in already?"

Quote of the Day

Referring to a man carrying a “fishing purse...”

Julia: “I’d slap the woman out of him, then I’d make him my bitch.”

Sigh, Enrique

Do you know what I love about Polita Vega's celebration of 50 years on air? Enrique Iglesias. Do you want to know why I have ever even heard of Polita Vega? Because about 5 minutes ago, I heard about some hot Enrique pictures and he was there. Now, I know what everyone is thinking: Why would you ever specify that Enrique pictures is hot? Isn't that implied when you mention "Enrique" and "pictures" in the same sentence? And you would be correct, hot is always implied in reference to Enrique. One day, I will run into this man, and I have all the confidence in the world that I will drool, stutter, and seize in front of him. Or maybe I would just hug him and never let go. Definitely one of the two, though. There would be zero chance for an actual conversation to ensue. I am too weak. The photos from the whole party are here.

Snapshot

Mojo's seventeen pound stature may be less than intimidating, so during his ever-important watchman duties, he puffs up his ears. What would I ever need a Pitbull for, when I have a genetically altered Yorkie?

Quote of the Day

Krystena: “I woulda bought that shit on the eye, like, I don’t got no cash.”