Snapshot

This is what concern looks like.

Quote Of The Day

Mom: “My hair keeps getting lighter and lighter.”

Grandpa: “Me too, in weight.”

American Idol Recap- Season 8

Last night's episode was one where the contestants could pick any song from any genre that was released in the year that they were born. Am I jealous of having to make that decision? Not even slightly. Will I judge them all for falling almost entirely flat* on their faces? Absolutely. *Pun was only intended in reference to Scott, who was and is always, flat.

First of the night was Danny Gokey, born April 24th, 1980, and the group elder. He sang "Stand By Me," which at first I was thrilled about, but then it sank in that he wasn't born in the sixties and therefore would be performing a bad remake. And that's just what he did. Did he sing the song well? Yes. Should he have? NO.

Kris Allen didn't have a whole lot to live up to to outdo the Gokey this week, so having been born June 21st, 1985, he picked "All She Wants To Do Is Dance." Personally, another WTF moment. From all of 1985, this wouldn't have even entered my top 100 list. Again, he sounded nice. But the song, ew. And is nice good enough?

Third up was Lil Rounds, born October 20th, 1984. I'm not going to lie, she is definitely an idol for being that old and having that many kids. She decided to sing "What's Love Got To Do With It," which just proves to me that her ego is so huge it is shoving her off the stage and into the bottom group for tonight. She came onstage and imitated the great Tina Turner. But can anyone do a good Tina Turner impersonation? 'Cuz Lil cannot. She sounded alright, but she made the song just plain and boring and as the judges always say, totally lacked artistry.

Anoop Desai, born December 20th, 1986, finaly gave me hope for the night. He sang "True Colors" and he modernized it and sounded really incredible. My brother's a big Anoop fan, and maybe now I can finally see why. Simon called him "...A singing yo-yo. This week was good and last week was abysmal." I don't even know how I want him to fare next week, because I have my favorites already...

Fifth up was my favorite, Mr. Scott McIntyre. All I wanted was for the judges to be honest, and treat him as they treat everyone else on the show. After finding out he was born June 27th, 1985 (WHAT?), Ryan announced he was going to be singing "The Search Is Over." Heard of it? Shocker! He picked an unpopular song, he was atrocious. When the judges commented on him choosing to use an electric guitar, he said he was trying t show his diversity and bring out his punk rock side. Paula commented that his sense of humor was infectious, but joking he was not. He is serious. This show is bleeding credibility with this guy still on it.

The youngest, born April 27th, 1992, was Allison Iraheta with my favorite song choice thus far, Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me." She is a baby, but her voice doesn't know it. The judges says he reminds them of Kelly Clarkson, which is not only a huge compliment but also true. I was so excited by her song choice this week that I held back from clapping on my couch even before she sang her first note.

Matt Giraud was seventh to perform, with "Part Time Lovers" after we learned he was born May 11th, 1985. I will just say one thing: Justin Timberlake performed the sh*t out of that song!

And the last of the night, AKA the one who my DVR cut off so I didn't get to see his baby picture, was Adam Lambert. He sang "Mad World," which is one of my favorite "modern" songs of all time. If you listen to the power with which he reaches those notes so effortlessly, you know he was meant to be on stage. He recreated the song just enough, made it his own just enough, and out sang everyone else incredibly! The judges had no time to speak, so only Simon got to just stand up and give him a standing ovation.

Snapshot

Ladies and gentlemen.... Your next American Idol!

Just kidding. But seriously, aren't dogs a little creepy? I am trying to watch TV, you know, with singing and movement and pictures. And she is trying to watch my face.

Quote Of The Day

Tristan: “You know what I like about Christmas? Spending the whooooole day with my family.”

Maureen: “You’re like a hallmark card.”

Tristan: “And... Presents.”

I Thought Brazil Was Heavenly...

Everything about Brazil had always appealed to me: gorgeous beaches and tropical weather and a laid back lifestyle. Until two or three years ago, when I saw a horrifying expose on TV about parasites caught while people vacationed and traveled through South America. There was more than one instance of parasites infecting a person while they were in Brazil. To the woman who ate slightly uncooked fish because she was too lazy to go back to the fire and finish her meal, maybe a stomach bug, literally, shouldn't have been too shocking. To the man who bathed in some river or lake, and then twenty years later saw a small wriggle swim across his eye only to find out that he had microscopic parasites swimming freely all around his body since his fateful "vacation." Eyeballs, bugs- Brazil is quickly losing it's appeal.

Then there's the waxing. And I think the general superficiality of the common Brazilian is shocking. You think Beverly Hills is bad? Try Rio! I read that people spend more money on plastic surgery treatments there than anywhere else in the world. It's a shame. That cosmetic expertise could have been better applied here or here.

And lastly, the Brazilian Keratin Treatment, commonly referred to as BKT, is what I just underwent. It's not that I don't like curly hair, it's that my curls are so tight that when dry, the curls lock into one another and form this solid structure of hair that reminds me of a bad cartoon mom. Think Didi from the Rugrats, but upside-down. The results look great, so far, but not being able to put in a hair tie, or a clip, or a drop of water or styling product is starting to wear thin. Not to mention the process itself. I won't go into the sharper pain details, because the crown of my scalp is incredibly sensitive, so therefore, a singular experience. But the burning of openings on my face!! Whoa! My hairdresser warned me to keep my eyes closed. And like a child to flame, I kept my hand over the fire until I knew what kind of "burning" he meant. To clarify, he meant the kind that goes from zero to ninety nine in .121 seconds. The involuntary tears rejecting the burning from my body stopped- after five hours. And we took a number of breaks due to "dead ass" syndrome. But the worst? The burning up my nostrils and down my throat as I breathed when mother nature took her vengeance out on me and didn't shoot the breeze for a few minutes here and there throughout. Here's to hoping that by using the proper and expensive shampoo, and holding off on the initial shower as long as my loved ones will allow me to, that this will last longer than I hope it will.

*Note: If you are considering this treatment, bring a fan and keep it directly in front of your face, and it will be a pleasure.

Snapshots

Inter-species rule of thumb: 

Avoid eye contact, avoid responsibility.

Quote Of The Day

Krystena: “Poor sound quality totally makes me nauseous.”

Me: “Yet eating soup that had a hair in it is fine.”

Krystena: “I didn’t eat the actual hair, and no, that doesn’t bother me at all.”

Snapshot

That gorilla wants to eat those poor monkeys. And I just want to cut their nails.

Quote Of The Day

Alex: “My woman isn’t really a lady, she isn’t thirty six yet.”

Julia: “And what does that make you?”

Alex: “A man?”

Me: “Also, a pedophile apparently.”

Snapshots

I took these over the weekend in Long Island, while my cousins played football on the school field. Illegally, might I add. To be one of two female cousins within a thousand mile radius and amongst 15 male cousins is to know boredom at a school field.

Quote Of The Day

Aly: “Thanks for rubbing your herpes all over my hand.”

Carrie: “You’re welcome. Sharing is caring.”

A.I. Elimination Recap- Season 8

This week, the not-so-talented-of-late Megan Joy was eliminated. Joining her in the bottom three were Anoop Desai and Allison Iraheta. Allison so entirely did not deserve to be there.

Megan was manic, truly unsettling, she made crazed faces, epitomized awkward, and was overall obnoxious. I want to say that she has a niche music career ahead of her, but after her antics, I am not sure I care any longer also, Simon.

I think to really see what I mean, you should just give this video 2 minutes. And I will give you two words: Bird and HowDidWeNotSeeThisSooner?

Snapshots

Every healthy relationship knows that the secret to success is a good give-and-take.

Quote Of The Day

Jordan: “That’s how I order them ? Word for word, 'How would you like your eggs?' 'Over medium, now!' That’s the right terminology? Seriously though, forget the 'now.' Over medium?"

Me: “Yup.”

Jordan: “Not over easy medium?”

Me: “NO.”

Jordan: “Why?”

Me: “That’s like saying, ‘I want my steak rare well done.’”

Jordan: "Like you know."

Charlie The Unicorn

According to some folks, this is the video to watch. So I did. The awkward laughter I let out during its entirety should get some recognition, I suppose. The end justifies the means. Candy mountains are dangerous. And most importantly, perky is always something to be cautious against. Also, annoying voices are hard to say no to. Oh, so many life lessons.

The 20 Male Poses On Facebook

Ah, social networking! It has to amuse you how pictures are taken, how pictures have now become the epicenter of a great night out. Gotta chronicle it! Make sure it looks good!

Thanks to 2birds1blog, we can at least have a comprehensive list of The 20 Male Poses On Facebook.  2funny! Below: The Accidental Self-Photographer Shot!

American Idol Recap- Season 8

Last night's episode of American Idol allowed the contestants to choose any song they wanted from the ITunes library, as long as it was a popular download. I would have loved to know what they "deemed" popular, especially after hearing a few of the picks. But very smart, American Idol. How can you increase the amount of ITunes downloads? Go to already proven ITunes downloaded best-sellers! It did make me a little sad that their mentor this week was an application, but hey, Fox is relevant, right?

First singer of the night was Anoop Desai, performing Usher's "Caught Up." His face he makes is almost sexual, but it really creeps me out. As if he was saying, "I'm trying to seduce you plus there's a bad smell in here." The backup singers killed the song for me, but most importantly, it was blah.

Megan Joy Corkrin, second up, decided on Bob Marley/Lauryn Hill's "Turn Your Lights Down Low." Really, Megan? Out of those two performers, you couldn't pick a better crowd pleaser? You should be eliminated on that, alone. She sounded flat. She is still likeable, but I am starting to doubt if her entire CD would be worth buying, instead of just ITunes downloading a single. Get it? Get it, ITunes?

Danny Gokey picked the Rascall Flatts' "What Hurts The Most." How can someone not love him? His voice is always on point, with this sweet vulnerability. His performance definitely reminded me that I was actually watching finalists perform.

Fourth up was Allison Iraheta with "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. I immediately thought: "This is exactly what she is meant to sing." And I was so right, if you could get past her clothing. The judges proceeded to murder her outfit, deservedly so.

Scott McIntyre was numero cinco. He took Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are." I laughed out loud in a millisecond. Why did he shout his second note out of nowhere?? Someone? He sounds dated, and you can hear him pushing out notes when he remembers to. Why would he rewrite Billy Joel? Scott: De doesn't need your help. You sure as all hell need his. I can't stand this for much longer. Constructively, the judges were right, this is exactly the song he should be singing. Except he changed the song, to be something nobody should be singing.

Matt Giraud performed "You Found Me" by The Fray. He looked better than ever, but he started a touch flat. I think the song was powerful, and he got stronger and better as the song progressed. I didn't think the song was popular, or recognizable enough. And I agree with the judges, he is more soulful than indie-rock. And he said he was trying to show the world he can do more than the soul singing. But professionals, and the voters, are telling him that no, he can't.

Lucky number seven? Lil Rounds chose to sing "Surrender" by Celine Dion. I didn't even know whose song she chose until I looked it up. I really think she started out flat. Theme of the night? She sounded whiny. She made me wince. She is no Melinda Dolittle.

Adam Lambert sang the daylights out of Wild Cherries' "Play That Funky Music." Making it contemporary was his goal, and I have to say, he is eerily great at making old anew. The chorus stayed the same, unfortunately because it did verge on cheesy that way, but maybe changing too much would have been strange. I feel like he is wildly ahead of everyone in every way, and he should be pulled from the competition and given his own Adam show, so I can watch more of him. And I guess also so other people have a shot at winning.

And closing the show was Kris Allen, singing "Ain't No Sunshine." Switching from guitar to piano, I would like to first say that it would take a lot for me to ever dislike this song, unless maybe Scott "deconstructed" it. I think it was a beautiful and modern rendition, and he was among my favorites of the night, if not my favorite. Also, his unhinged jaw seemed to be more in place.

Snapshot

I call this: NaNaNaNaPooPoo

I'm not sure if I was mid-blink here or really about to pass out, so allow me to point out the only important thing about my face here: It is Marley's wall to hold herself up.

Quote Of The Day

Aly: "Omg, you have officially ruined my day."

Alex: "Well, it doesnt take a lot."