Snapshot

     YAWNING is contagious. Right? She could totally make the front page.

Quote of the Day

Me: "I'm gonna sub your fries for salad."
Alex: "Yeah? I'm gonna punch you in the eye. I'm gonna sub your eyes for holes."

Today should now be known as National Salad Day. Mark your calendars.

Is Waiting Worth It?

I am not the shining example of patience, I will fully admit it. Once something creeps into my brain, it takes over like an obsessive cancer and literally seeps into every thought until it is purchased/accomplished/acted out. It's not my proudest attribute, but I fail to compartmentalize my brain... so, everything gets melded into one big ball of life. And a new idea is the dominant color every time. 

As everyone knows, technology is always changing. As you are waiting for your newest and best to be delivered, it's being disregarded and tossed into clearance bins. 1 gig turns into 4 and 4 pounds become one. I used to try and wait out my purchases, just three more weeks and then I should finally buy that camera. Just one more year, and then that Ipod will be able to hold 800,000 songs and sing me lullabies out loud while I fall asleep. Wait seven months and your exact car will be more fuel efficient, and can track where you and each member of your family are at all hours of the day. It's incredible, really. 

When I was patiently waiting to buy my camera, this was a common example conversation:

Check out girl: "Paper or plastic?"

Me: (in my head) "My camera would be so awesome right now. Do you see the way the light is shining on that window? I want my camera, I want to..."

Check out girl: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Either is fine. I'm getting a camera. Thanks. Have a great day."

So, my public plea:  When I do finally buy something, please don't let me know it's been immediately outdated, over-performed, and under-valued.  Today, as I was setting up my brand new phone that I have needed for far too long, someone sends me this link.

Oh, the pain. 

Snapshot

"If you insist on taking my picture, I will protest the only logical way I can. I shall give you part stink-eye, part tongue sticking out, and 100% annoyance."

Quote of the Day

Clare: "Yeah, I feel bad for women in prison. I feel like they're all there for self-defense. You know, because they killed some guy."

I should have realized...

It started out with me thinking, "What a pretty lil' thing." Perfectly posed and poised, funny little white whiskers sticking out...
Then, this cat shows up. He might look angry at the world, but I truly believe that's just what his face was created to look like. A fair warning to keep away. I did not heed.
I mistook this pudgy porker for sweet, maybe because he so clearly indulges in sweets. I can now see he was not blankly staring out into oblivion, but actually staring me down, wishing me ill will.
Finally, I caught this guy staring at me. His attempt to share contempt with me was not subtle. I left. Evacuated, really. But not before they were able to get their poisonous dander in my lungs. I still can't take a full breath in. If I only I had just seen this guy to begin with, I could have known they meant business. Cat business.

Note: Remember For Wedding.

Contrary to popular belief, every woman has not spent her entire life fantasizing about intricate details of their future wedding. I'm sure many do, don't get me wrong, but not everyone. For instance, I have always had hugely varying ideas about what a wedding would entail for me. Getting married at a posh Manhattan hotel, a beach wedding with ocean as far as the eye can see, renting out a bed and breakfast somewhere on a coast in New England. I have had dreams of multi-colored wild flowers in no particular order or shape one year, and currently live in the deep, rich red roses neatly placed together phase. And my ideas on wedding cakes seem to change every single time I sit down to a wedding cake special on TV.

A friend of a friend told me about this spectacular wife/husband photography duo who take breathtaking wedding pictures. And then she sent me the link. Mike and Bobbi are definitely going to be hired for my wedding. Here is their blog:  AMAZING. And I don't mind that there is no groom yet, or that the idea of marriage seems so far off in the distance, fathoming any details is difficult. Because I have picked out my photographers. So, while some people will be planning their nuptial dates around family events, holidays, and mortgages, I have decided to work around Bobbi and Mike.

I hope they don't read this and get scared. I love you.

Quote of the Day

As I started reading a joke out loud:

Me: "What's the difference between men and pigs?
Julia: "Their feet?"

Snapshot

This might appear to be normal at first glance. Glance again. Marley's giving me the stink eye. Eye see you.

Quote of the Day

Julia: "I hate the sound of laughter sometimes. Like right now."

Snapshot

  I call this "Namaste." There's no word to explain how great it is to lay out on some grass and touch the ground. Grounding. There's one.

Cone Removal

I took Marley's "cone" off. Her e-collar had been on for a little over three weeks when it was relayed to me that it needed to be on for only a few days. But I'm sorry, Miss Veterinarian, you. You just made almost 800 dollars, I am going to err on the side of caution when it comes to risking eye injury this month.

I expected a lot of things when I took off this contraption. For one, I fully anticipated her eagerly lapping up water, as I have seen her slam around water bowls for almost a month. I expected her to roll around on the bed and explore the new found freedom of itching her neck. What I did not expect was to witness a fully vocal conversation between her and Mojo.

For the next 30 minutes- solid- I had to mute the television and ignore calls, because thing one and thing two were respectfully taking turns speaking, yelling, and contemplating each other's arguments. Never have I witnessed more human-like conversing go on between two animals. I was amused, then wished I had a camera to share with nay-sayers. Then, when I realized a big piece of my night was spent unwillingly listening to them say a whole lot of nothing at all, I was out of patience.

And we continue to forge through her terrible two's. (Speaking of, there is a band called "Terrible Two's" that was put on a CD in my car without me knowing. My advice: check it out. You will laugh. Maybe cry, but still worth it. My favorite song:  "A Rake, A Broom, A Mop, A Shovel."   I couldn't make it up if I tried.)

Quote of the Day

A.H.:  ""Now I sound like Bush. That sounds like an over-redundification, heh heh."

Snapshot

                                Mold? Mildew? Warped Paint? Yes, please!

Buddha-ful Phone!

I know I've put off the inevitable Blackberry for long enough, but this just seems so much better:

Buddha Cell Phone

"Still hungry for more spirituality? Satisfy yourself with the religious symbols running all over the phone and the serene Buddha himself embossed on the back. For now, everything else about this Nokia such as the pricing and availability remain as mysterious as the Enlightened One himself."

Beauty and the Bread Beast

This guy gets all the bread!
He only has eyes for her?

She looks off sweetly into the distance....

Snapshot

Everything looks better as fireworks, even traffic onto the George Washington Bridge.

Quote of the Day

While staring at Alex...

Julia: "I was wondering why you were huffing so loudly with your nose air."

Monty

First, Monterey Jack Cheese investigates the straw. Then, he viciously attacks it. Some would say he "cats" it.

Starer Beware....

I meant to put this up for Easter, but better late than never!