Quote of the Day

A.H.: "Part of being a man is making sure a woman gets what she wants even if you hate it. Because it's much better to hear from me than it is to hear from you."

Snapshot

Hello, Americana!

And The Terrible Begins

It's my birthday and I'll scream if I want to. You would scream, too..... If you happened to be so filled with hyperactivity that it is seeping from your pores and there are too many hours of sleeping going on, and why would anyone sit down when there is running to be done?

Snapshot

Usually, I would say having a construction crew in the back of my building take a chain saw to a large shrub is terrible! But it just so happened that the shrub was kind of ugly, and I really like the inside of it!

Quote of the Day

Me: “I am a fan of mental profiling.”

A.H.: “You ought to go work with the port authority cops, you’d go well with them.”

Funny Lunch Highlight

T takes J's magazine away from her table at lunch as he went upstairs to see if his food was here. J was in the middle of reading it. T comes back down, sans magazine. I tell him J had been reading it, and he says "Oh really?" as he sits back at his desk. No flinching, no concern, no recognition of what the right thing to do would be. LET ALONE any reasonable thought as to why a magazine would help receive a delivery. 

My theory: He thought a magazine would be a good tip.

Mike's theory: "This guy can't be for real, he's gotta be like a robotic human simulation placed here by aliens to study us by living amongst us."

On second thought, I agree.

Like A Pillow Fight...

People sometimes think I am exaggerating when I share my stories of mass destruction, especially my brother. So I thought I would share what my two ****** ******* ******* dogs can accomplish in one day of work:

I decided to replace whatever shreds of mess were left behind of a dog bed with a higher quality, more expensive, longer lasting (?) one. Here they are literally fighting over who could get more of their own body on top of this small strip of faux Sheepskin rather than spread out on the expanse of bright and soft Ultrasuade. :

I wanted to throw this one in here, because Mojo looks just like an ancient Chinese philosopher here. Or a moron.

And here is where you can see smug victory at her finest:

I Love PP

This is Julia:

She made her shirt. I knew immediately her shirt meant "I Love Palisades Park." Certain men did not have the same reaction to this harmless tee shirt. (In the West Village, those men would have a point.)

Me: I knew it was Palisades Park right away.

Alexander: 'Cuz you're a Jersey Girl!

Julia: You wish you were a Jersey Girl!!!!

Quote of the Day

Me: "Mel Blanc, who was the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots."

Todd: "Mel is my ex-bank robbing partner."

Snapshot

Look at that face? How can you say no to that face? I usually go with: "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" I realized this morning that Mojo turns two on Thursday. So does that mean that the terrible two's are coming my way????? For a year!? What was the past year? I'll be silver before he gets there. 

And then I realized that Thursday morning, I am dropping both dogs off at Camp Bow Wow. It's more than a kennel. It's a day camp with boarding as an option. So they can run all day, and share an area at night. And more importantly, so I can unwind in the Hamptons for the first time in a year.... But, there is definitely a nagging feeling of guilt over leaving him for the very first time on his birthday. God, I feel badly for my future children!

Quote of the Day

My mother was checking my blog for new updated pictures of her "grand-dogs," because, you know, reading leads to the realization that she is tired and maybe, there is someone she should be on the phone with. But she did say, "What? Am I not funny enough to be on your Quote of the Day?"  Immediately, and quite unintentionally following that was:

Mom: "Three and five is eight, and eight and five are twenty three, plus two makes it twenty five."

Me: "Oh really? Eight and five? You made it."

I'm Juicing!

Did you ever just wake up one morning and crave change? You just knew in every inch of your body that a switch was necessary, mandated? 

It's a new feeling for me, or actually, more like a new experience, since I am sure I've felt it before but just squashed it immediately. I think my whole "Spring Cleaning" over the past two seasons may have led me to finally face the fact that I may actually be the type of person to like change, after all. I have expended so much energy fighting the inevitable, that I'm actually embarrassed to think about it. As of today, I have given up soda, most foods, being lazy with housework, spending money on luxuries, and using my elevator (unless I'm carrying heavy bags.) My next step is to give up a little bit of my precious sleep to start getting to the gym in the mornings. Maybe giving up everything else will make me want to be sleeping a whole lot less.

**Side Rant: Why is it that everyone connects sleeping a lot to being depressed? I think the Sleepsalot Gene is deep in my DNA and will never be dismissed. Just ask my father, if you have a blow horn to wake him up with.

To be continued....

Dog Barks For Years

This video is a "news-cast" featuring a Westie that has not stopped barking since the owner brought it home. It made me giggle:

"Dog even barks while eating, sleeping..."


Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years

Snapshot

That one section just had enough. Life got a little hard on those three feet. Don't ask, don't sweep, just be thankful the other sections are more patient.

Smell-O-Vision

As dangerous as commercials could be if they infiltrated our nostrils as we sat on our couches, I think scented advertising is completely awesome for the more rare instances we find ourselves inside of a movie theater!

Cinescent Bringing Scented-Ad Technology

I really like the Nivea Sun idea, to be able to smell the beach and experience something so much more than sitting in a local theater seat. I personally would abhor a local sushi-scented advertisement, and I wonder how long scents linger, but I want to try it stat! Germany, anyone?

Quote of the Day

Me: “’No reward for stupidity!’ Ooh that will be my bumper sticker for when I run for president!”

Alex: “Please don’t.”

Snapshot

This is a light fixture, one of many, at Hamsa Restaurant in Tenafly. We went for my friend's birthday, and the decor more than made up for the pretty much incognito wait staff. I've decided I'd like my bedroom to have white painted old tin ceilings and colorful antique lamps scattered and hanging. And I could wake up to belly-dancing music and sweet Moroccan tea, and wear colorful kaftans all day, and speak in a haphazard mix of French, Arabic, and Hebrew.  

Or, I can just move to a place where my bedroom walls aren't flaking off. That could be nice, too.

Guilt-Stricken

This is supposed to be Mojo's guilty face. Guilty for knocking over my laundry basket, with his brute strength of fifteen pounds. Guilty for the dragging individual pieces of laundry into the living room while I showered. But for some reason, he isn't looking so guilty to me.

The Dark Knight

I finally saw the Dark Knight, even though I am sure die-hard Batman fans would spit in my direction for getting so excited over seeing this movie, as it took me two years to finally see Batman Begins, and even so, only because I needed to know what proceeded the Dark Knight.  

After so many viewings of the Michael Keaton Batman movies, anything new had a lot to live up to. Jack Nicholson, Danny Devito, Michelle Pfeiffer- they all so branded their faces to those characters that I was hesitant to say the least. Then, I had the enormous misfortune of seeing part of Batman Forever with Jim Carey, and the rest of the cast that butchered the legend that I knew to be Batman. Hopefully, this can explain why I didn't rush to the theater to see Batman Begins. My thought process was: No Michael Keaton, no me. Whoops!

I knew going into the movie theater last night that this movie was really over-hyped, and that unless the characters popped out of the movie screens to rub my feet and hold my drink for me, I would probably be disappointed. And I wasn't. But I wasn't running from the theater screaming, "Christopher Nolan is my idol!!!!"  

In short, Maggie Gylenhaal took a crappy part left behind by the not so gifted Katie Holmes and made it movie-worthy. Michael Caine is as dependable as air, and I hope to chat with him about life and love one day, hopefully under the guise of sipping tea as I drool in awe of him. (After Cider House Rules, he gained a super fan for life.) Christian Bale was very much the same. And Heath Ledger. Oh, Heath. I loved him in Lords of Dogtown, Ned Kelly, Brokeback Mountain, Monster's Ball, and A Knight's Tale. He was so personable and charming and charismatic and just seeing his talent ooze off of the screen made me sad all over again. I was sad that if the powers that be choose to make a third Batman, he can't be in it. And I was sad that his family and friends would be experiencing bittersweet emotions as he receives posthumous praise. So, how did I feel after seeing the Dark Knight? Really, really sad.

Snapshot

Something about the idea of Lil' Kim and her patent leather outfits doesn't scream "Going Green!" to me, but this does.