Quote of the Day

Talking about Aaron’s facial hair:

Nikki: “I know why your girlfriend likes it so much. ‘Cuz it makes you so completely undesirable to every other woman.”

Snapshot

Ye Olde Tickette Shoppe

*circa 2009*

Quote of the Day

Me: "My grandma has a boyfriend!"

Poppy: "Well, don't worry. I'm sure they won't be making any babies."

Snapshots

Her wink is terrifying....

Quote of the Day

Completely out of the "blue":

Samantha: “I had one single blueberry pancake this morning. Why I had to tell you is beyond me.”

Snapshot

You have to wonder if, at least subconsciously, coming home to "Swamp Brook Path" messes with your psyche a little bit...

Quote of the Day

A.H.: “There’s pot in the cookies.”

J.P.: “Why would you do that to cookies?”

Behavioral Targeting In Dogs

Lessons in Behavioral Targeting From a Dog

This article, while explaining a dog that may actually be a lot more intelligent and intuitive than my dogs, has really started this thought process on my dogs behavioral cues. I have this nagging notion that I am more trained than they are... If anyone has ever been in my house with me, they already know my dogs are scanning me at all times. It gets a little tricky when Mojo is running around the living room, keeping an eye on the front door for that person that has never shown himself, and watching me like a hawk the.entire.time. But he manages. And Marley seems to be less concerned with me and more concerned with the inside of her eyelids, but upon careful consideration, you will notice that if I move a single muscle, at least one eye peeks out to watch me, until she is satisfied that I am not moving anywhere towards the vicinity of the kitchen. The kitchen! That amazing place where food is taunted five feet above her head!

When my phone rings, Mojo's life pauses. And he stands dead still in the middle of the room watching my cell phone as if it were actually speaking to him. And he waits for about 45 seconds. If I remain on the phone, he goes back to his business of watching me and keeping track of that ever-pesky front door. If I hang up the phone, he knows that someone was calling me from behind my building and I should be getting up to go get the door. Actually, he has actually modified my behavior! Because I very rarely get off the phone quickly now. An actual example conversation recently went like this:

Me: "Yeah, okay, no problem. But wait! Can you stay on the phone with me for a solid minute so Mojo doesn't start freaking out?"

I keep my keys hanging on the same rack as some necklaces and the dog leashes. And they exert different levels of "psychotic" depending on which hanging piece I reach for. Necklace? A little spin. Keys? Some spinning, some panting, a little whine here or there. Leash? If you live in my county, you already know this: Frantic spinning, yelps, crazed random barks, and some leg scratches if you were stupid enough to reach for the DOG LEASH while wearing shorts. And there, again, it proves that dogs aren't behaviorally trained, but they are training me. I know very well now that if I am to reach for a leash, I am to be wearing thick jeans to reduce bleeding from my knees.

And finally, Marley, who only has eyes for food. Her heart catches in her chest when I was towards my front door. And life stops for those ten seconds while she waits to see if I turn right, towards not the kitchen, or left, towards the object of her affection. And when I decide that I am indeed, kitchen-bound, she senses the movement in my foot and is in the middle of the tile floor, tail wagging, before I can even think about where I left my cup last. I have modified my behavior of leaving my cups in the kitchen, and now leave my cups on the dining room table, so as not to disturb her nap. I have left my Brita outside of the kitchen, staying less than cold, so that she is not disturbed.

I am thinking I may be the disturbed one now....

Snapshots

I wish I could say something like, "Lucky shot!" or "Just the angle..." But I cannot. This is my Aunt Marilyn loving the dogs.

Quote of the Day

Doctor: “Your blood pressure is too high.”

Lynn: “Well, what do you expect?!”

*Ah, Lynn. My quick to temper friend who was so physically angry that the doctor wouldn't look her in the eyes that her blood pressure went skyrocketing up.

The Ghosts Of Players Past?

Is it only me, or is this short video at all creepy? Here. There's something about ghost-like images of still living basketball players that makes me feel uneasy. Or maybe just a little scared of Lebron James...

It's still pretty cool, though.

Snapshot

Heirloom tomatoes and arugula and fresh mozzerella. It was so good in the tasting corner at Trader Joe's, that I immediately started running around the store just to make sure nobody took the last case of tomatoes. Because then? Then I would have had to have a frozen enchilada. And I won! I got home, cut everything up, sat down, and realized that I have the most disgusting balsamic vinegar, and that I had ruined every inch of my salad with it. I held to my guns, choked down the salad and am now on the hunt for a delicious balsamic vinegar. Any suggestions?

My father told me about this 100 year old balsamic vinegar that he had asked for at a restaurant. A vinegar so special that only the manager could come to the table and measure an ounce for an inquiring customer. An ounce of vinegar to the tune of $100. I'd like to try that, but I am looking for suggestions more in the $7 per entire bottle range.

Quote of the Day

Aaron (to Alyssa): “When you had a cigarette, Julia looked at you like a 7 year old girl who just saw her mom steal something from a grocery store.”

Snapshots

The protector...

of feet...

Quote of the Day

Me: “Shoop shoop bee doop shoop bee doo, shoo bee dooo beee doo bee dooo.”

Jordan: “I like the way you move it. No diggity. I wanna bag it up.”

Me: “We are SO related!”

Jordan: “How many times do I have to tell you? You. Are. Adopted.”

99 Problems!

Have you ever just had one of those weeks where nothing seems to be going right? I mean, things could always be worse, and I don't want to sound ungrateful for the universe not exploding on my skull this week. Let's just say, I can name 99 problems pretty quickly. Let's see....

1. My back is out. Not hurting. Not achy. But spasms are taking over my every waking thought and I can't center myself on my spine.

2. Last week I couldn't sleep at all, and this week, I can't seem to sleep enough....

But instead of continuing to wallow, which would probably reside somewhere in the #56 range, I will share other people's problems. It sometimes helps....

99 Problems

Snapshot

This shining example of my ineptitude at household chores seems only fitting to share with the world after this week. What happened this week? Oh, I decided to cook this huge pork tenderloin. But mid-cooking, I had a bowl of Total instead. And when it was done cooking, I turned the oven off, like every paranoid person will do. And I went to bed. Of course, I didn't really register that the oven needed to be turned off because it had been cooking something. So, after I let the pork cool overnight in the over, I got to throw the entire thing out in the morning. Call me Martha Stewart. And maybe you won't be so far off. I am skipping on bills... It's all downhill from here.

Quote of the Day

Alex: “She thinks that I’m really a good person.”

Me: “Well, she hasn’t spent much time with you then.”

Snapshot

I'm thinking I'll have a water....

Quote of the Day

Aaron: "She's a prostitute. Hire her."

Me: "Done."

Aaron: "That was too easy."

Me: "That's what he said!"